


Support

by emphasizedistruction



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Smut, Triggers, mental health, minor depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2018-11-02 18:12:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10949994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emphasizedistruction/pseuds/emphasizedistruction
Summary: Having struggled with mental illness all their lives, strangers Tyler and Josh agree to attend a support group. They do so with little expectations, not anticipating anything to come out of it.They end up finding much more support in each other than they ever would have expected.~unfinished~





	1. Chapter 1

“A support group?” Tyler scoffed, his voice at a monotone.

 

“Yes, like a group of people who-” 

 

“Yeah, mom, I got it.” He groaned, his head falling back with a dull thud in frustration.

 

Typically he was never this reluctant to the idea of anything that may help him- the medication his therapist suggested, the new coping mechanisms he resorted to at his parent’s request- but a support group? The idea was just vacuous. 

 

“I don’t actually believe it could benefit me in any way.” He suggested, earning an irritated sigh from his mother who stood in front of him. 

 

“There are plenty of people who have, Tyler. You’ve never been, how could you be so adamant?” 

 

_ Try dealing with the inner workings of my mind and ask me that question then,  _ he thought to himself. 

 

Holding his tongue, he chose to reply with something that would be less trouble for the both of them- a skill that he’s mastered quite well in his years of being alive. 

 

“The idea in itself is just imbecile,” he met his mom’s pleading gaze and sighed in defeat, “but I’ll go if it means getting you off my back about it.” 

 

Ignoring Tyler’s snarky comment, his mom engulfed him into a warm hug. He reluctantly wrapped his arms around her when he knew she wouldn’t let go until he did. 

 

After a moment of awkward contact, his mom retreated but kept a gentle hold on his frale arm. 

 

“I think it could be really good for you.” 

 

Tyler let himself be hopeful for a small second, dwelling on the glint of it in his mom’s eyes. He savored it in this moment, because he knew that soon, the darkness that was his never ending coaster of nerves and misery and everything awful would soon come into contact with it and destroy it dead in its tracks.  

 

“Yeah,” he whispered. 

 

\---------------------------------

 

Josh sat in front of the mirror, fidgeting as he took in his appearance. 

 

His hands naturally tapped against the hard surface of his dresser, creating a beat of their own accord. The dull thud that was met with the collision of his fingers and the wood set his racing mind slightly at ease. 

 

He glanced at the time on his phone again for what might’ve been the 50th time that day, silently cursing himself as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. 

 

His therapist and him had talked about and established a new policy in which Josh not succumb to the urges that came with his anxiousness -for example -repetitively checking the time. He’d done a pretty decent job, but that meant his fingernails were even more chewed and scabbed than usual and his scalp was extra sore from persistent tugging. 

 

Deciding that his appearance was decent after close to 20 minutes of contemplation, he stood up from his spinny chair (that he kept around despite his parent’s complaints that he was getting too old for it.  _ No one is too old for a spinny chair, thank you very much)  _ and let himself be guided by the small bit of confidence out of his room and into the living room where his mom sat on the couch waiting patiently. 

 

“All set?” She asked, displaying a warm smile and extending a hand for Josh to take. 

 

He nodded and took her hand with no hesitance. Yeah, he still held his mom’s hand sometimes, and he was damn okay with it. 

 

They climbed into the small SUV and began their trip to the local church, where a support group was held every Tuesday for teenagers with mental illnesses. 

 

His mom insisted she drive, that way if Josh was too overwrought he wouldn't have to worry about it. 

 

His expectations were pretty low for this, seeing as though it didn’t offer much aside from getting to complain to others who could relate to him. Which, in all fairness, didn’t seem so bad from where he stood. He’d hit a pretty dark spot recently, having to take on a new set of medication that didn’t make him feel much of  _ anything _ , but they took away the constant nagging of his nerves, so that was that. 

 

“How ya feeling?” She asked, drawing Josh’s attention away from his thoughts. 

 

“A little scared, I guess.” No point in lying to her. 

 

“It’ll be great, Josh. You’ll meet some really cool people and make some great friends.” She smiled and grazed her fingers over his cheek before returning them back to the steering wheel. 

 

“Yeah,” he replied, letting himself bask in the small fraction of hope he had. 

\---------------------

 

Stepping out of his car and onto the paved cement of the church, Tyler sighed and almost convinced himself to get back into the vehicle and speed off, but he knew that wouldn’t end well all around. He decided to save himself the trouble and forced himself to walk the path up to the large doors of the church. 

 

He smiled meekly to people who were coming in, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with all their sympathetic gazes. 

 

He was greeted past the door from a table with two adults behind it, handing out fliers and cheap smiles. 

 

“Welcome!” A woman cheered, handing Tyler the flier that he didn’t care to read. He slipped it inside of the pocket of his jacket. 

 

“It’ll be right down the hall and to your left.” 

 

“Thank you.” Tyler replied, nodding firmly. 

 

Within seconds Tyler was face to face with the door. Something in himself screamed to leave it untouched and walk out as if he didn’t just waste the last few minutes of his life with this, but the logical part that barely had grasp on him gave him the sense to push himself inside. 

 

“Welcome! Please, have a seat…?” A man wearing a large coat and glasses stood from where he was sat in a large chair, smaller ones surrounding it and making a circle. 

 

“Tyler.” He finished. 

 

“We’re glad you’re here, Tyler.” He offered with a smile. 

 

_ I’m so sure.  _ He thought to himself. 

 

He ignored all the stares he received from the rest of the kids there and sat next to a girl bearing a soft smile and playing with her split-dyed hair.

 

Casual conversation took place between the group of about 10 kids, all of them seemingly familiar with each other despite the tension that sat thick in the air. 

 

After a few minutes, the door was opening again and in came a guy sporting bright blue hair and ripped jeans.  

 

Tyler found himself squirming in his seat as the guy introduced himself as “Josh” to the group and took a seat directly in front of Tyler. 

 

He couldn’t help but stare at him, noticing his stiff posture and the tension in his shoulders.

 

He was intimidatingly attractive. 

 

Suddenly, this whole support group idea didn’t seem so bad. 

 

“Alright, alright.” The man spoke, clapping his hands and establishing silence among everyone. “I see we have some new faces here, so let’s all go around and introduce ourselves. I’ll start.” 

 

The man went on to say his name was Spencer and he suffered from Manic Depression, also known as Bipolar Disorder. A guy with a head of thick, black hair, gelled to the side and sporting a cocky grin stood next. His name was Brendon and he had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. 

 

It came the girl next to Tyler’s turn. Her name was Melanie and she was Schizophrenic. 

 

Tyler stood up and made awkward eye contact with Josh the entire time he spoke, trying to read his expression but getting nothing. 

 

“Um, I’m Tyler, and to put it simply, I have depression.” 

 

He sat back down and received a small chorus of “Hi Tyler’s”. 

 

He pretty much zoned out after that, missing more than half of the group’s introductions until it came to the pretty boy with the blue hair’s turn. 

 

He stood, returning Tyler’s gaze as he told the group his name again and that he had Generalized Anxiety Disorder. 

 

It didn’t surprise Tyler in the slightest. He could’ve guessed it. 

 

“Well, welcome everyone. I’m glad you’re all here today.” Spencer said. “We’re gonna start with a small exercise, that way everyone in here can gain a mutual understanding for each other.”

 

He went on to explain the game, in which everyone was to hold hands and tangle themselves in any way they can, and then together,  _ without  _ breaking contact, you must unscramble yourself. 

 

“And if you break contact, you have to step out of the circle.” 

 

Tyler mentally groaned as he stood and joined hands with Melanie and the guy next to him, each of them twisting and lifting limbs over each other. He watched as Josh awkwardly shuffled towards the circle and joined hands with the others beside him. 

 

After about 30 seconds, Spencer called “untangle!” and the awkward task commenced. 

 

“Let’s go one at a time so we don’t screw it up,” he heard someone call, probably Brendon by the sound of it. 

 

He couldn’t really see anyone behind him; he was currently faced away from the group as both of his arms were twisted opposite each other, still being held firmly. 

 

The stupid game reminded him a lot of his life; he was always turned the opposite way from the scrambled mess of his mind, never able to see fully what the problem was, preventing him from knowing how to fix it. 

 

“Tyler, your turn buddy” Brendon called, drawing Tyler out of his thoughts. Here was having an existential crisis when everyone around him was trying to get something done. Not uncommon. 

 

He awkwardly strained to get his left arm over his head, causing Melanie to shuffle with him. He eventually did, but by then, the guy next to him was forced to let go. 

 

Tyler was finally faced inward again, and in a much less uncomfortable position. He felt his hand being retaken, looking up to see who it was, and  _ oh.  _

 

Josh, in all his gorgeousness, gave him a very small hint of a smile, and Tyler blushed like a God damned fool. 

 

He turned away to save himself from further embarrassment, but the blush crept further when Josh gently squeezed his hand. Dear Lord. 

 

Eventually, they were all able to get untangled without anyone else having to break off. Him and Josh had held hands the entire time, exchanging shy glances throughout the game. 

 

By now, everyone was moderately comfortable with one another. The tension that once made its presence undeniable was now pretty much gone as everyone laughed and casually talked with each other. Tyler even found himself smiling a few times. Not that he’d admit that to anyone. 

 

He talked with Melanie as she explained what life was like in her eyes. It was fascinating, really. 

 

All went well that following hour, and Tyler found himself a little disappointed when they had to rejoin their hands and chant a departing quote- “The best way out is always through.” 

 

Tyler had a plan to talk to Josh after the program was over, but those plans were quickly ruined when Spencer asked Tyler to stay a little after so they could talk. 

 

\------------------- 

 

Josh gave his goodbyes quickly and rushed out of the doors to beat the crowd. He waved to Melanie and Brendon as they left, and a few others who he couldn’t remember their name. 

 

He sat on the curb of the church, admiring the clouds overhead that portrayed the threat of rain. He contemplated the events that just took place, undeniably coming to the realization that there was a definite highlight to this experience: Tyler. 

 

The boy had the biggest doe-eyes he’d ever seen. Not to mention the softest looking almond brown hair, accompanied by a frail demeanor and a voice like honey. It was cliche as hell to say Josh had been “starstruck”- almost to a point of absolute disgust. But he couldn’t find a better word to describe what happened when he laid his unworthy eyes on the masterpiece that is Tyler. 

 

And when Josh got to  _ hold his hand,  _ that just about literally made him faint. He had to squeeze the guy’s hand to make sure it was actually happening. 

 

He cursed his vibrating phone for taking him away from his Tyler-induced daydream. 

 

**Gonna be a little late. Hang tight xo**

 

He read the message from his mom, sighing in frustration.  _ Oh well, _ what was a little bit of waiting. 

 

To occupy his time he opened Fruit Ninja and began playing it, becoming so focused he didn’t realize when Tyler opened the doors and came to stand by him. 

 

“You’re still here?” 

 

Josh jumped, almost causing his phone to fly out of his hands. 

 

“Jesus, wait, I mean- sorry, you just scared me.” 

 

Tyler laughed and Josh practically melted into a puddle of despair and angst. That laugh was the most godlike thing he’d ever heard, and it immediately set him at ease despite it being directed towards his foolishness. 

 

“I didn’t mean to scare you, my bad.” 

 

Josh waved it off with his hand, fighting not to make eye contact with the boy standing over him. 

 

“Are you waiting for someone..?” 

 

Josh replied, trying to keep and even tone. “Yeah, my mom. She just told me she’s gonna be a little late,” 

 

He finally met Tyler’s eyes as the boy sat down next to him and Josh had to mentally remind himself to breathe as he took in all the details of his face. 

 

“It might rain.” Tyler said, full lips turning downwards into a small frown. 

 

“Good observation,” he said, causing the boy to smile. 

 

“Thanks, I tend to be very attentive.” 

 

Josh laughed, a genuine laugh that was rare. This kid was fucking adorable. 

 

“Like right now, you’re blushing.” 

 

Josh sucked in a breath and fell silent. 

 

“I’m blushing?” he asked, bringing his hands up to his face as if it would give him the answer. 

 

Tyler grinned, revealing a set of white, crooked, perfect teeth. “You weren’t before, but you are now.” 

 

Josh turned his head away, knowing it was true. 

 

“Wait to make a good first impression,” Josh mumbled playfully. 

 

“Hey, it’s what I do. Do you want a ride home?” Tyler asked, his teasing tone replaced by one of genuine concern. 

 

“I think I’ll be okay, thank you though.” 

 

Tyler stood and held out a hand, presumably for Josh to take. 

 

“If we’re gonna be friends, you should know when I offer something I’m really just telling you.” Tyler said, his surprisingly sassy demeanor making itself known. 

 

Josh just chuckled and took his hand, reminiscing its softness as Tyler helped him stand up. 

 

_ Friends,  _ Josh thought,  _ I can deal with that.  _

 

They climbed into Tyler’s small Toyota and typed Josh’s address into his phone’s gps. 

 

“You don’t live far from me at all,” Tyler pointed out, to which Josh felt a pang of excitement. “I don’t even need the directions.” 

 

“Awesome.” Josh replied, feeling giddy and nervous. 

 

“Uh, my car radio was stolen a while back and I’ve been meaning to replace it, but I just haven’t. So now I just sit in silence all the time.” 

 

“I don’t mind,” Josh said, giving Tyler a reassuring smile. 

 

Conversation from then on flowed naturally between them. It was utterly shocking at how well they got along. Josh was able to find out Tyler was 17, had 3 siblings, and was diagnosed when he was 15. 

 

Josh went on to tell him he was also 17, also had 3 siblings, and was diagnosed at 13. 

 

They both shared a mutual love for Taco Bell, to which Tyler said they’d “have to go for some together sometime”, and music. They discussed a few of their favorite albums and debated on which tracks were the best. 

 

Eventually, they came up to Josh’s house and a pool of dread filled his stomach at having to leave. He had a strange desire to sit and talk to Tyler for hours. 

 

“This is me,” he sighed, unbuckling and mentally preparing himself to depart. 

 

Tyler sighed, seemingly frustrated as he looked like he was contemplating something. “You know, I wasn’t excited about this whole support group thing,” he said, keeping his hands on the wheel but eyes trained on Josh, “but it wasn’t as bad as I expected.” 

 

Josh hummed his agreement, enraptured in all things Tyler- the smooth way he spoke, the way his eyes peered into his, and the way his adam's apple bobbed furiously as he talked. 

 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t leave me alone. Like, show up next week.” 

 

Tyler spoke wildly, with a glint of something in his eyes that Josh couldn’t pinpoint. But because Tyler asked, Josh was going to show up every week Tyler wanted him to. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Josh smiled. 

 

Tyler gently pat Josh’s shoulder as he made an attempt to open the car door. 

 

“See you Ty, and thank you for the ride.” He called to Tyler, silently cursing himself for the nickname that slipped out from nerves. They waved their final goodbyes, Josh shutting the door behind him and beginning his tret up the driveway. 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Tyler drove away with butterflies in his stomach and a flush in his cheeks. 

 

With the way Josh’s head of blue curls blew around with the wind and his nervous fidgeting, Tyler was utterly captivated in his essence. 

 

Not to mention when he’d called him “Ty” -a nickname used by few- but when  _ Josh _ used it, it was the most fascinating array of speech he’d ever encountered. 

 

He was pretty pathetic for developing what, a  _ crush _ on Josh? He’d barely known him a day. And of course, there was the conflict that was his struggle between his faith and his sexuality- the central reason that so many of those songs written on those lonely nights in the basement came to be. 

 

Pulling into his driveway and cutting the engine, Tyler figured he’d will this away and into his endless void of unresolved issues and unfulfilled desires. 

 

He gathered his keys and stocked up to his house, smiling when he noticed his little sister dancing about in the living room, her bright persona and swinging hair being shone through the open window. 

 

Opening the door, Madison blushed and ran to turn the music off from her small boombox perched in the corner. 

 

“You’re having a dance party without me?” Tyler asked, pouting his lip in mock sadness. 

 

Madison just laughed, unplugging her device and heading up the stairs. “Mom wants you to go in the kitchen!” She shouted on her way up. 

Tyler watched as she went up the stairs, a habit he found himself doing with all his siblings; watching until they got up all the way to assure himself they were safe. 

 

He made his way into the kitchen, greeting his mom who was hunched over a cutting board and seemingly too focused to have heard Tyler come in. 

 

“Hi, mom” He said, careful not to scare her. 

 

She turned her head and smiled, her eyes wide. “How was it?” 

 

Tyler sat himself on the counter, receiving a playful eye roll from his mom, but went on anyways.  

 

“It was fine. They gave me a flier.” 

 

His mom raised a questioning eyebrow at him, but turned to dig the knife back in her mystery vegetable. “Did you make any friends?” 

 

Tyler knew the faintest blush crept onto his cheeks, thanking the stars that his mom was faced away from him. 

 

“Sure, I met some people. I gave this one guy a ride home because he was kind of stuck at the church.” He replied, trying to sound as casual as he could muster. 

 

“That’s great, Tyler. I knew it wouldn’t be as bad as you anticipated.” 

 

“Mhmmm.” 

 

“Are you going next week?” 

 

Tyler swung his legs and let the backs of his feet hit the counter. “Probably.”

 

“That’s so lovely.” She replied, her voice laced with sincerity. 

 

“Where’s dad?” He asked, trying to steer the conversation away from him. 

 

“He had a late night again.”

 

“Hm.” 

 

They went on, making small talk as his mom busied herself around the kitchen. Eventually she finished, and dinner was served among Tyler and his siblings. 

 

Looking around at all his siblings and his mom, Tyler deeply pondered about his life. His life was pretty decent, all things considered; he had a family who cared for him, a piano that he took out a lot of his frustration on, and a roof over his head. He really couldn’t complain much. 

 

But he couldn’t help the emptiness that always accompanied him, as if something there was missing. Surely he would figure it out, but the anticipation was deadly. 

 

His thoughts went back to Josh, in all his blue-haired and gauged-ear glory. 

 

When he was finished eating, he excused himself and went up to his bedroom. 

 

He had a Facebook search to conduct. 

 

\--------------- 

 

Josh had come home to his parents sitting on the couch, chatting it up like he wasn’t  _ just  _ waiting for one of them to pick him up. 

 

Their excuse? “ _ We knew someone would offer you a ride, Josh. We wanted you to make a friend.”  _

 

Okay so, that was a pretty legit excuse. And he was pretty thankful for the extra time with Tyler. But  _ still.  _

 

He knew he was being overdramatic, but he was in too deep to back out now. Oh well. 

 

After grumpily departing from his parents, Josh opened his bedroom door and immediately threw himself onto his bed, his mattress whining under the sudden weight.

 

He let himself drift off to sleep for an hour or so until the chiming of his phone stirred him. He groaned and took the phone from his nightstand, noticing a notification from Facebook. 

 

His heart skipped a beat when he noticed who the message was from. 

 

**Tyler Joseph: I may or may not have stalked your Facebook.**

 

Josh’s stomach fluttered and he felt his cheeks heat up. He was beginning to admire Tyler’s straightforwardness. 

 

Trying to think of something witty to reply with, his fingers hung over the keyboard. He settled on a message after a few minutes. 

 

**Josh Dun: I may or may not do the same now that I know what your facebook is :)**

 

He was sitting up now, his head propped against his pillow with one arm behind his head. He typed with one hand as Tyler’s replies came in. 

 

**Tyler Joseph: Go ahead you won’t find anything interesting Mr. Dun**

  
  


**Josh Dun: Doubt it & yes Dun, Mr. Joseph. **

  
  


**Tyler Joseph: Oh my Josh I’m so Dun ;)**

 

Josh scoffed in humor as he read the message. Usually he grew irritated with anyone who made jokes out of his last name, but for some reason Tyler was an exception. 

 

It was also a pretty clever pun but no one needed to know that.  

  
  


**Josh Dun: Do you think you’re the first one who’s made a pun of out my last name?**

  
  


**Tyler Joseph: No, but I know I’m the first one who’s made a clever pun out of not only your last name, but your first name too**

  
  


**Josh Dun: fair enough**

  
  


**Tyler Joseph: Could really go for some taco bell**

  
  


**Josh Dun: same, man**

 

Just when Josh decided Tyler was already bored with him, and the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, Tyler replied with something that probably shouldn’t have made Josh want to drop down on one knee and propose but it did anyway. 

 

**Tyler Joseph: wanna get some tb tomorrow for lunch with me?**

  
  


**Josh Dun: oh frick yeah**

  
  


**Tyler Joseph: I can pick you up if you want, maybe around like 1 or so**

 

_ It’s not a date it’s not a date it’s not a date  _ Josh had to remind himself inwardly. The chances of Tyler seeing this as a date, or even seeing Josh  _ that _ way in general, were painfully slim. 

 

**Josh Dun: only if you wanna**

  
  


**Tyler Joseph: It’s a deal then. I look forward to it**

  
  


**Josh Dun: Me too :)**

 

They both agreed to talk tomorrow and wished each other a good night (with smiley faces,  _ jeez _ ) before ending the conversation. 

 

Needless to say, they both went to bed with smiles on their faces and newly found buds of hope blossoming in their chests. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment guys i LOVE hearing from you

“CanIgooutwithafriendtodayokaythanks.” Josh spat in one breath, trying to avoid his mom’s prying.

 

“Wait, Josh! With who?” 

 

_ Too late.  _ Josh sighed. 

 

“Tyler, from the support group. He’s the one who gave me a ride yesterday.” Josh added the last part with a barely audible mumble. 

 

“I told you you would make a friend! Mama knows what she’s talking about.”

 

Josh scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes. “Yeah, well, what can I say. So is that a yes or…?” 

 

Laura threw her hands around Josh’s neck and hugged him tightly to her.

 

“Of course you can Joshie.” 

 

Letting himself be practically squeezed to death, Josh mumbled a “thanks,” and pecked a kiss to his mom’s cheek before retreating back to his bedroom to get ready. 

 

_ What do you even wear for this?  _ Josh thought to himself. It’s not like owned anything fancy had this event called for it. 

 

Well let’s be real- Josh’s closet consisted mostly of ripped black jeans and tshirts. No point in denying it. 

 

He decided on his  _ NASA  _ t-shirt and jeans. 

 

He let his hair do whatever it wanted, per the usual. His wicked curls were untamable. 

 

Checking his phone, he noted the time- 12:47. Tyler would be here very soon, probably looking very good. Would Josh have to introduce Tyler to his mom? Would Tyler even come to the door? 

 

_ Okay, deep breaths. I’m clearly overthinking this. Breathe.  _

 

Josh had taken his meds earlier that morning, so it was easier to calm himself and even his breathing. 

 

Minutes later, he heard a knock at the door and his heart practically dropped. 

 

_ So much for calming down.  _

 

He got up, shouting a quick “I got it!” before opening the door to an absolutely fucking stunning Tyler Joseph. 

 

He was wearing a long tank top that displayed his black inked and aesthetically pleasing tattoos, lean arms and tan skin. His legs were jean-clad with small rips at the knees. He was wearing sunglasses and his car keys were in his left hand, his finger fidgeting with them. 

 

Josh forgot how to function right then and there. He swears to God. 

 

“Hey! You look.. like you’re staying cool in this weather.” 

 

_ Fucking seriously, Dun?  _

 

Tyler grinned, displaying his perfectly imperfect overcrossed teeth and subtle dimples. 

 

“Well you look hot.” he replied blatantly. 

 

Josh knew Tyler was just referring to the weather, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like a smitten teenager. 

 

“You wanna get going now or come inside first?” Josh asked, trying to distract himself. 

 

“Depends on how hungry you are.” Tyler replied. 

 

Josh hadn’t eaten anything yet, and he figured there was no reason Tyler would want to come in. 

 

“Very, let’s get going,” Josh shouted over his shoulder, “Bye mom!” and closed the front door behind him. 

 

_ Do not look at his ass do not look at his ass  _ Josh mentally pleaded to himself as they walked to where Tyler’s car sat along the curb. 

 

He (somewhat) succeeded and was soon enough in the passenger seat of the vehicle once again. 

 

“Just so you know, I’m paying.” Josh said, keeping his eyes trailed out of the window as if to ignore Tyler’s upcoming protests. 

 

“Says who?” Tyler remarks. 

 

“Me, duh” 

 

Tyler scoffs. 

 

“C’mon, it’s the least I can do for you giving me a ride and all.” 

 

“That wasn’t a favor man, I wanted to!” Tyler shouted, nudging Josh playfully as he drove. 

 

Josh just flashed him a goofy grin, not missing the way Tyler’s face turned a faint shade of crimson. That gave Josh a boost of confidence he was lacking. 

 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Josh spoke. “I’m still paying.”

 

Tyler groaned an “ugh, fine.” and they continued their quest to Taco Bell, the buzz of passing cars and Tyler’s soft humming filling the atmosphere. 

 

And if they stole subtle looks of each other the entire time, well, no one needed to know. 

 

\---------------

 

“Okay, Elvis or nah?” 

 

Josh contemplated, trying to remember the songs he knew by him. 

 

“Hmmm,” He said. “I can dig Elvis.” 

 

Tyler sprung up from where he was sat on his bed, making his way to the corner of his room and grabbing an object in a case perched up against the wall. 

 

After they’d both indulged in cheap Mexican food, Tyler insisted they hang out ( _ “My parents are at work and we could just chill, if you want.”) _ and of course, Josh was not arguing. 

 

So here they were; Josh watching from the head of Tyler’s bed as the boy uncovered a  _ damn Ukulele,  _ just when Josh thought he couldn’t possible be any more perfect. 

 

Tyler sat cross legged at the foot of his bed and started strumming lightly, deep in concentration. 

 

“You play? That’s awesome” Josh said, dumbfounded. 

 

“My parents got this for me a little while ago. I’m not like a prodigy or anything, but yeah, I play. I have a piano in the basement too.” Tyler replied, seemingly sort of shy about his musical talents. 

 

“That’s so sick, honestly. I play drums here and there too.” Josh lied. He played his drums as often as a bad worker blames their tools. 

 

Tyler’s eyes lit up as his fingers still lazily strummed against the strings, clearly from muscle memory. 

 

“Seriously? You have to play for me sometime.”

 

Josh wasn’t opposed to the idea. “Well, that means you have to play for me now.” 

 

Tyler laughed, but it was laced with nerves. “You want me to?” 

 

Josh laughed. “Absolutely.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

Tyler shifted into a more deft position, his entire demeanor changing into one of a professional musician. 

 

And  _ god,  _ Josh could tell he was so passionate about this. He had barely started strumming and Josh could tell his talent and dedication went beyond that of a regular musician. 

 

He listened with every fiber in himself- his eyes listened to the way Tyler’s dainty fingers moved diligently across the strings and the way his eyes were half lidded and distant. His ears listened to Tyler’s raspy but smooth as silk voice luring Josh to his fucking death. And his heart listened to the overwhelming feeling of- what? What was it that Josh was feeling? It couldn’t have been love. No way. 

 

He recognized the song Tyler was playing;  _ Can’t help falling in love  _ by Elvis. Of course. 

 

After Tyler had strummed out the last few cords of the song, Josh had to fight the urge to reach over and kiss the life out of this boy. So instead, he clapped. 

 

Tyler was discreetly panting and a clear display of anticipation and timidness was shown on his perfect face. Josh hoped the look in his eyes would portray the words he was at a loss for in that moment. Meanwhile, Tyler just blushed, and blushed and panted. They never broke eye contact. 

 

Josh was savoring the way Tyler’s vulnerability was displayed at this moment. His usual confident and sassy demeanor was gone now, replaced by one of bashfulness. 

 

Finally Josh tried his luck and attempted to talk. 

 

“Tyler, holy  _ shit.”  _

 

Tyler’s mouth went agape at that, but smiled nonetheless. 

 

“I take that as a good holy shit?” He laughed, setting the instrument on the bed beside him. He set his hands in his lap and played with a rubber band that clung loosely to his wrist. Josh didn’t notice that before. He made a note to ask about it later. 

 

“Heck yes! I mean, who knew you could sing like an angel. I wonder what you’re capable of on the piano! My god, I could kiss you right now.” Josh subconsciously let the last part slip. He wasn’t even aware he’d said it until Tyler’s eyes went wide again and he sucked in a breath. 

 

He fucking knew he would ruin this. He always did.

 

“But like, no homo. Or anything.” Josh added, wishing the earth would swallow him whole. 

 

“I get you. Haha. Anyways it wasn’t anything great, but I really appreciate it.”

 

The tension in the air was so thick that Josh could probably swim through it. 

 

“I gotta use the bathroom. Be right back” Josh spat, trying to make this look as inconspicuous as possible before realizing he didn’t even know where he was going. He turned around once he reached the door. “Where is your bathroom?” 

 

Tyler just chuckled, pointing. “It’s that door on the right.” 

 

Josh gave a quick “thanks,” before locking himself in the bathroom and praying that someone would strike down and kill him right then and there. 

 

\--------------- 

 

Tyler put away his ukelele, the nerves from performing in front of Josh still high. 

 

Honestly, he was completely shocked he gained the courage to sing for Josh. He’d never been able to open up to anyone like that, but Josh just felt different. Don’t tell him that sounds like the most cliche’ thing ever- he knows. 

 

But Josh seemed to really  _ appreciate  _ the way music is meant to portray something. Tyler wondered what he might’ve gotten out of it. He thought about playing some of his original work for the boy, but that was a while from now. Baby steps. 

 

But right now, things had taken a step in an awkward direction. As he sat on his bed waiting for Josh to make a return from the restroom, he couldn’t help but repeat the words Josh said: “ _ I could kiss you right now.”  _

 

Even more awkward, Tyler kind of wishes he would’ve. 

 

But whatever, he wasn’t going to stress over it. Clearly Josh was just really impressed with his music and was saying the first thing that came to mind. He even expressed that it didn’t mean anything- it was fine. 

 

Tyler decided that he’d break the tension with a few rounds of Mario Kart. 

 

Mario Kart was the solution to everything. 

 

He heard the bathroom door open, and sprang into action by turning on the TV and the gaming console. 

 

Josh made a reappearance, and  _ damn _ , Tyler would never get over how undeniably attractive Josh was. 

 

“Mario Kart?” Tyler asked, holding the remotes in his hands. 

 

“Frick yeah. I call Peach,” 

 

Tyler laughs and hands Josh a remote, both of them sitting themselves on the carpeted floor. 

 

“Fine by me, Bowser is better anywho.” 

 

Josh let out a “Ha!” at that, and the race began. 

 

\-------

 

They played more than a few rounds. Minutes stretched into hours, and before they knew it, it was creeping towards 8pm when they were in the middle of Rainbow Road. Tyler had beaten Josh every time with the exception of once when he let Josh win. It was cute to see him get all excited over beating him. He’d have to do that more often. 

 

“Oh my god, I didn’t even think about what time it was.” Josh said, having caught a glimpse of the time on his phone. 

 

Tyler paused the game, looking over to where Josh was sitting. He tried not to frown knowing what he was leading up to. 

 

“Does that mean you want me to take you home?” 

 

Josh looked deep in thought for a minute. “I really wish I didn’t have to leave. I kinda like getting my butt kicked by you.” he declared, gesturing to the game. 

 

Tyler laughed but felt his heart ping with sadness at having to be without Josh’s company. Being with this boy has made Tyler happier than he was in a long time. 

 

It kind of scared him. 

 

“Alright,” Tyler sighed, getting up to turn the T.V. off before Josh grabbed his leg and stopped him. 

 

He smiled that goofy grin and it made Tyler’s heart flip. 

 

“After we finish this round.” 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))) @ anyone who caught my twist & shout reference


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for 200 hits!
> 
> lots of stuff happening in this chapter. lemme know what you think <3

“It feels like we’ve known each other forever instead of a couple days, you know?” Josh said. They had agreed to hang out again the next day at Josh’s house, and of course Josh wasn’t complaining.

 

Tyler nodded his agreement and continued to pound on the drums, his lack of experience obvious but slightly adorable. 

 

“You’re not doing that right,” Josh giggled.  

 

Tyler peered at him with an evil look.  “Don’t harass me, Joshua.” 

 

Josh just rolled his eyes (in good humor) and continued to jot down notes for school. It was Sunday, and Sundays meant the beginning of an awful week. 

 

Sundays sucked. 

 

He was so thankful it was almost time to graduate. On that note, Josh wondered what Tyler did for school. 

 

“I’m homeschooled.” Tyler replied, Josh not even aware he spoke out loud. 

 

“Seems nice.” he replied. 

 

Tyler scoffed, putting down the drumsticks back into the bag and making his way over to Josh, plopping himself right onto the desk and clutter of papers he was working on. “I’m kinda working on that.” Josh declared. 

 

Tyler just smiled, making him forget how to function as always. 

 

“What kind of friend would I be if not to distract you from your schoolwork?” Tyler said in mock offense. Josh just pushed his legs away from his paper and resumed his work. 

 

“Play for me instead.” Tyler said, making Josh perk his head to meet the boy’s eyes. Tyler had that glint of  _ something  _ in them again. It made Josh crazy. 

 

“I have homework, Ty.” 

 

Tyler quivered his lip and  _ shit.  _ Josh knew he would never be able to tell him no, now. 

 

“ _ Fine _ . But only for a few minutes.” He gave in. 

 

Tyler clapped his hands and then brought his knees to his face, curling himself into a little ball on top of the desk as look of pure attentiveness painted his face. 

 

Josh sat behind the kit and took his stance; the same one he’d taken so many times before. Usually he was angry, but right now he was filled with the utmost sense of joy. 

 

He retrieved the drumsticks and began hitting the instrument with all of his might, creating a beat of his own accord and knowing it like the back of his hand. With every thrust came more dedication and more passion. He was too enthralled to watch Tyler’s reaction (who sat completely mesmerized on the desk) and finally came to a smooth stop after a few minutes. 

 

He was softly panting as he watched Tyler struggle to find words.

 

Josh knew how that felt. 

 

“That was really damn impressive! You’re really talented, Josh.” Tyler let his legs fall back on the floor and he went to sit in the desk chair. 

 

Josh smiled, his tongue poking out between his teeth- something he did when his grin was too big to be contained. “Thanks, man.”

 

Tyler looked like he wanted to do something with his hands, but didn’t know what. That same tension that settled over them the day before when Tyler performed for Josh was there again, but this time not nearly as awkward or uncomfortable. 

 

“We should jam together sometime.” Tyler declared, playing with the rubber band around his wrist again. 

 

“Frick yeah we should!” The idea was so appealing to Josh. Getting to drum to Tyler’s heavenly voice and piano would be a gift sent from God himself. 

 

Josh crashed onto his bed with a sigh. The thought of doing homework after taking a break from it was super unpleasant. He’d much rather lay here and sleep…. 

 

“Josh! Homework!” Tyler called after a few minutes, so rudely jostling him awake.

 

“Ughhhhhh,” he groaned, “too tired.”

 

Tyler giggled behind him and Josh swore that sound could cure cancer. 

 

“You want me to go?” 

 

Josh immediately gave a “No!” and pat the space next to him. “Nap with me.” 

 

“Wow Josh,” Tyler started, “I’ve only known you a few days and you’re already trying to get me in bed with you. Tsk tsk.” 

 

Josh blushed but it was hidden by the covers his face was pressed against. “It’s not like that. Just come nap with me, okay?” 

 

He heard Tyler stand from the chair and soon felt his weight next to him. He let out a content sigh as Tyler got comfortable, their bodies touching in the slightest due to the lack of space in the bed. 

 

Josh was on his stomach and his face was turned away from Tyler, who was laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. 

 

Josh sighed again, this time out of frustration because he wanted Tyler to be  _ closer.  _ It was exhausting to lust over someone and have them so close to you, yet so far. 

 

After a few minutes, as soon as Josh finally started to drift off again, Tyler whispered something that made his heart race. 

 

“Wanna snuggle?” 

 

_ Fuck yes.  _ Josh turned over onto his back and lifted his arms as a welcome sign for Tyler, all the while wearing a dorky grin. 

 

Tyler blushed, shifting himself to the side, and then his body was meshing with Josh’s. His head rested against his broad chest and Tyler nuzzled into it. He could hear Josh’s heartbeat and feel the rise and fall of his breath underneath him. 

 

It felt so _ right.  _

 

Then, Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler, completely engulfing him in warmth and security. He lightly caressed Tyler’s soft skin on his arm and used his other hand to play with Tyler’s hair, which was  _ so fucking soft just like I thought it would be, _ and they both melted into each other. 

 

“This is nice,” Tyler whispered, to which Josh hugged him tighter and closer to his chest, and gave a deep “mhmm,” in return. 

 

That alone was enough to make Tyler’s head spin, not to mention the fact that he was being  _ held  _ by another guy who he might’ve been super attracted to. And, that guy was playing with his hair- something he was extremely fond of. It was heavenly. He never would’ve guessed how much he’d enjoy this. 

 

He let himself dwell in the proximity of Josh, and eventually, they were both sleeping. 

 

\----------- 

 

Tyler opened the door to his house and smiled when he walked in to see his sister and brothers all cuddled together on the couch, watching something on the television. 

 

“You guys do all the fun stuff when I’m not around.” Tyler whined, shutting the door behind him. 

 

Jay and Madison just ignored him, clearly too invested to pay any mind to their brother. Zack snorted and kept his eyes trained on the movie. “For good reason!” 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Zack, can I talk to you? For just a sec, please?” 

 

Zack quirked and eyebrow but didn’t hesitate to remove himself from their ocean of blankets. 

 

They both went up to Zack’s room and plopped onto his bed. “That movie was getting boring anyway. What’s up?” 

 

Tyler fidgeted with his rubber band. Even on his way home from Josh’s he played out every way he could start this conversation, but here in the moment all that practice was useless. He just let himself say the first things that came to mind. 

 

Zack would understand; he always did. 

 

“So you know how I started going to that support group right?” 

 

Zack nodded. 

 

“Well, okay. I like,  _ met  _ someone and they’re really nice, and I like hanging out with them. But the circumstances that we’re in prevent me from knowing for sure what to do. That and I’ve only known them like 2 days.” 

 

Zack took this all in with a nod, clearly considering his words wisely to most benefit Tyler.

 

He really loved his brother. 

 

“Okay, have you guys done anything outside of hanging out and whatnot?” 

 

Tyler blushed, thinking of Josh’s hands threading through his hair and the warmth of his body against his own. 

 

“Uh- well I mean, we napped together but that was it. We just cuddled, honestly.” 

 

“You dork. So you aren’t sure if you like her?” 

 

Tyler sucked in a breath. This was it. “Well see Zack, that’s the thing.” 

 

Zack looked utterly confused now, his eyebrows furrowed. 

 

“She’s a him.” 

 

His brother sat up on his bed, eyes wide in shock. 

 

Tyler was ready for the backlash. He prepared himself for this. 

 

“I totally saw this coming!” 

 

Tyler let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, unclenching his balled fists and slowly opening his eyes. “Fricking seriously?” 

 

Zack stood up, almost jumping in place. 

 

“All my theories- they’re legit! I was starting to think you were just like asexual or some shit Tyler. I’m glad you finally came to terms with it,” 

 

Tyler could honestly cry. He wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or amused. But the one thing he was feeling was relieved. 

 

“I guess I’ve known for awhile- I mean, guilt and whatnot has always convinced me otherwise. But Zack, I really like this guy.” 

 

Zack knew Tyler wasn’t finished, and he sat back down onto the bed. 

 

“But what if mom and dad disown me? I’ve tried repressing these feelings for their sake, but Josh just kind of evoked them, you know? And I don’t think I’ll be able to just stuff them away again.” 

 

Zack nodded. “Tyler, I honestly don’t know how they’ll respond. They can be cool sometimes, and other times they’re all ‘radical Christianity’- which is why I try to avoid them usually. But if it means just hiding it from them until you’re ready, you can be happy in the meantime. That’s all that really matters in the long run.” 

 

Tyler absorbed every word Zack had to offer, contemplating with sincerity. His brother always knew what to say, despite Tyler’s constant confliction with everything. 

 

“I don’t even know if he feels  _ that  _ way, you know? I think I’m just gonna give it some time and clear my head.”

 

Zack gave Tyler a reassuring pat, and he was utterly amazed with how easy this was- not that he thought different, but the prospect of coming out to his brother was a little nerve wracking. But Tyler knew even Zack had religious conflict like himself. 

 

“Totally knew you were gay though.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw. there is a mention/attempt of self harm in this chapter. if you feel as though you can't read, grab my attention and let me know so i can send you a summary of this chapter without minute details. stay safe frens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone becomes confused, this takes place in the same day as the last chapter.

Josh sat on his bed, contemplating what just took place in it earlier. He and Tyler Joseph cuddled.  And it was fucking amazing.

 

Josh had always been big on cuddling, and Tyler was by far his favorite cuddle-r. Holding the petite boy in his arms made his heart leap and his chest swell with warmth.

 

Taking in and analyzing everything, he was decidedly really confused by the series of events that happened these past few days: he joined a support group where he met a cute boy. Said cute boy and him ate Taco Bell and hung out and cuddled.

 

They were friends, right? Did friends do that? He wasn’t too familiar with the whole “friend” concept. All he did know was the way he found himself drawn to Tyler. Everything about him made his heart yearn to be in his presence.

 

And he hadn’t even know him a full week. Pathetic.

 

With all this renewed energy and sensation of new emotions, Josh tried to busy himself by getting behind his drums, -the same ones he just played for Tyler an hour prior- and played for about an hour until he heard pounding on his door, his cue to cut it out because no one was in the mood to put up with it today. He got it, though. He understood why they got annoying after a while.

 

“Yep, got it.” he called.

 

He slipped the sticks back into their rightful place and then tried to think of other things to do.

 _Clean, read, do that homework I never finished.. message Tyler…_ He wondered what Tyler was doing at this moment. Messaging him to find out was harmless, right?

 

He crawled onto his bed, cellphone in hand, and opened their chat.

 

**Josh Dun: watcha doing**

  


**Josh Dun: so bored now that you’re gone ughhh**

 

_Just now_

**Tyler Joseph: I’m sorry Jish i was busy when i got home**

  


**Tyler Joseph: you there? Im bored too**

  


**Josh Dun: Jish?? o-O**

  


**Tyler Joseph: crap typo**

  


**Josh Dun: it’s okay fren**

  


**Tyler Joseph: imy**

  


**Josh Dun: you too Ty**

  


**Tyler Joseph: wanna hang out tomorrow**

  


**Josh Dun: you know it**

  


**Tyler Joseph: When do you get out of school? I can pick you up**

  


**Josh Dun: I do have a car**

  


**Tyler Joseph: Okay so then drive over to my house after school**

  


**Josh Dun: Insistent ;)**

  


**Tyler Joseph: I’m BORED**

  


**Josh Dun: I’m irresistable**

  


**Tyler Joseph: .**

  


**Tyler Joseph: True.**

  


\------------------

  
  


It was one of those nights.

 

Tyler sat against the wall of his bedroom and tried to ignore the relentless pounding of his mind racing. His legs had gone numb from sitting in the same position on his bed for hours.

 

He trying to fight the urge to do what so many of these lights lead to. And it wasn’t impossible. He’d fought this before; he could do it again. But the confliction this time wasn’t that solely of his depression. It was all of the factors regarding his newfound interests- no, his newfound _acting_ on his interests.

 

He cuddled with a boy whom he really liked. He came out to his brother. It was so spontaneous and so unlike himself.

 

It was terrifying.

 

The waging war taking place behind his face and his above his throat consumed him so entirely that he wasn’t even aware of the faint “ _goodnight”_ being shouted from the opposing side of his door from his family.

 

They wished him a good night while he sat on his bed fighting the urge to bring harm upon himself. He was _pathetic._

 

The distinct and powerful feeling of wanting to hurt himself started to overtake him. He knew how this night was going to end, but he tried so hard to fight it despite his mind’s protests. At this point though, he knew it was not a battle he was going to win. Not this time.

 

And why shouldn’t he put a cold blade to his skin like he has so many times before? He was unworthy of any mercy or understanding from anyone- himself not being any exception.

 

Coming to the same conclusion he had many times before, Tyler unsteadily stood up from his bed, ignoring the recommencing of his blood flow that made it hard to walk.

 

He briefly wished his blood would stop flowing altogether.

 

He opened his bedroom door and walked slowly out of his room, as if his body was on autopilot. He soon found himself sitting on the bathroom floor and retrieved his blade from under the carpeted tile.

 

It always scared him how calm he was during times like this; his breath was moderately even and he felt as if all his logical feelings and thoughts were thrown out of the window from multiple stories up and had hit the ground with a force that made them break up and disappear entirely.

 

He turned the blade over in his hands, watching as it caught the bathroom light and glistened.

 

This was what all those nights consisted of. The taunting glisten of the blade, the eery quietness that seeped through every crack and mocked him, and Tyler’s racing thoughts.

 

He desperately sought out a reason to leave his skin unharmed and came up with nothing until a flash of blue came to mind.

 

_Josh._

 

He had one small fraction of fight left in him, and, coming to the conclusion that this was his only option, and with the ability to act rationally completely blown away, Tyler retrieved his phone from his pocket and pressed the call button on Josh’s contact.

 

It only ringed a few times before Josh picked up with a small tone of concern laced in his voice.

 

“Tyler?”

 

Tyler shifted so his head was flat against the tile, his left arm holding the phone and his right holding the blade.

 

“Josh…” his voice cracked, and before he could stop it, a wrecked sob overtook him.

 

He heard ruffling from the other line and then silence, before Josh’s voice came through with full blown worry. “Are you okay? Tyler, what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

 

Tyler tried to be as quiet as possible to not disturb anyone more than he already has, so his mouth was wide open with the action of fighting the noise threatening to erupt from him. Tears soaked his face and fell into the crook of his neck.

 

“No.. no, I’m not okay.” He managed to whisper in between his weeping.

 

“Why’s that? Talk to me, Ty. I’m right here. ’m glad you called me.” Josh said, his voice already putting Tyler at ease.

 

“It’s everything.. I..” Tyler debated on telling him everything, but decided against it right now. “I’m sorry for calling so late, I just needed-” Tyler hiccuped, “needed someone to talk to.”

 

“I don’t care what time it is, don’t even worry. Are you having a rough day?”

 

Tyler sighed, letting the few tears left roll down his face. “Something like that, yeah.”

 

“And what are you doing about it right now?” Josh asked, his voice soft and caring.

 

“I’m lying on the bathroom floor with a blade in my hand and crying to you on the phone.”

 

“Okay. Ty? Do me a favor and sit up.”

 

Confused but in no state to protest, Tyler sat up and let his head rest against the bathroom door.

 

“Okay.

 

Now hold the blade up to your arm, but do not do anything other than that. Don’t even let it touch your skin.”

 

Tyler was beyond confused now, and honestly, a little scared of what Josh was making him do. Nonetheless he perched the phone against his neck and his cheek, held up his arm and let the dampened blade hover just barely over his skin.

 

“..okay.”

 

“How do you feel?”

 

Tyler thought. He felt like at any given moment he could easily swipe the blade across his skin, and at another given moment he could just as easily put the blade down and leave it.

 

“I feel in control over what could take place in the next few minutes.” Tyler admit.

 

“Good. Now I want you to remember what I’m about to say, okay? Remember that when you start to feel this way, only _you_ have control over what happens. Tie a noose around your mind Tyler, and kill the things that make you feel like you’re losing that control.”

 

Tyler felt tension slip away at Josh’s words. He eased the blade out of his hand and exhaled a long sigh of relief.

 

“You’re amazing,” Tyler said absentmindedly. His body went limp with the sudden wave of calmness that engulfed him. He stood up from the bathroom floor, picked up the razor again, and flushed it down his toilet.

 

“I flushed it.”

 

“That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you,” came Josh’s reply, making Tyler’s cheeks tint pink.

 

He opened his bathroom door and quietly tiptoed back to his bedroom, relaxation and exhaustion causing him to fall straight onto his bed.

 

He almost forgot he was on the phone until he heard a “Ty? Do you want me to go now?”

 

Tyler became aware instantly and practically shouted “No! I mean, unless you want to.”

 

Josh’s muffled giggle came through and Tyler’s stomach erupted into a fit of butterflies. Josh then replied, “okay, I’ll stay on. I’m gonna go to sleep though, is that okay?”

 

 _Nothing would be better,_ Tyler thought, but then decided on a simple “that’s fine.”

 

“You get some rest too.”

 

Tyler got under his blanket, perched his head against the pillow and kept the phone to his ear. “I will. Thank you again, Josh.”

 

“Don’t mention it. Goodnight, Ty.”

 

“Night Jish.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the love yall. it keeps me motivated to write for you

The following morning, Tyler woke up and went through his daily routine; hour class with his mentor, 30 minute break, another hour class, break, and so on. His dad kept getting on him for “not being on his game” today when they were outside practicing free throws. His mom had to keep reminding him to focus on his work.

 

But it was extremely hard when he thought of how last night could’ve ended up had Josh not been there. 

He thought about falling asleep to the other boy’s soft snores. 

 

The feelings accompanied by these thoughts stirring inside him were nagging at him all day, but not so in a way that overwhelmed him, rather, they made him ponder deeply and reconsider his many aspects of his life. 

 

So if he thought he could deny his attraction to Josh before, well, it was surely impossible now. 

 

Tyler would be lying if he said the time apart from the blue-haired boy wasn’t driving him a bit mad. So it being Tuesday, if Josh cared to show up to the support group meeting, (something convinced Tyler that he would be there), confrontation was inevitable. Tyler was both dreading and eagerly awaiting the moment he got to lay his eyes on Josh again. 

 

He busied himself with schoolwork and basketball, per usual, until the clock hit 5:00pm and he found himself driving to the church. 

 

Needing a distraction from his nerves as he drove, Tyler stumbled across the realization that he still hadn’t gotten his damn radio fixed. 

 

\----------------

 

Josh decided to take his own car this time. 

 

He unmounted the driver’s seat and took a large breath, bracing himself to see Tyler again. 

 

Tyler, who had an episode last night. Tyler, who didn’t talk to Josh since said episode. 

 

Josh got there 15 minutes early so that as soon as Tyler pulled up, he would be able to whisk him away. He had a plan to take Tyler to Taco Bell and have them discuss everything. It was the only way Josh figured he’d get him to ditch the meeting and come with him instead. 

 

So waiting, Josh leaned against the car door and watched as the parking lot became more littered with cars as the time passed. He kept his hoodie on to prevent anyone from recognizing him. It wouldn’t look nice if he was seen before the meeting but not during it. 

 

After what felt like hours to him, Josh watched as Tyler pulled in and parked a few spots away from him. 

 

He took another deep breath and began the small walk towards him, standing at the front of the car as Tyler got out and waiting until the boy was able to see him. 

 

He looked good as always; brown hair more fluffy than ever and his arms exposed, giving off a sheen glow as the sun hit them, and his legs covered in a pair of skinny jeans. 

 

When Tyler stood facing away as if he were looking for something, Josh spoke. 

 

“Hi.” he said, making sure to keep his voice low enough to prevent frightening him. 

 

Tyler squeaked and swung around, eyes going wide at the sight of Josh. 

 

“You punk! I was just waiting for you to pull in,” Tyler exclaimed, putting a hand over his chest and panting. 

 

Josh chuckled. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” 

 

Tyler smiled and walked around the vehicle until they were face to face, allowing Josh to catch a whiff of his cologne. And  _ boy  _ did he smell like a masterpiece. 

 

“S’all good. Wanna walk in together?” Tyler said as he took small steps towards the door. 

 

Josh shied away from Tyler’s gaze as he spoke, “I was thinking… uh, we should go to Taco Bell and just hang out. I figured since you were avoiding me, this was the best way to approach the subject. ‘Cuz, well, now you can’t say no to me.” 

 

Tyler looked skeptical but was smiling nonetheless. “Oh, I can’t?” 

 

Josh playfully shoved Tyler’s shoulder, but the action came out more of a caress, and they both became painfully aware of the tension that sat between them. 

 

Josh cleared his throat. “No actually,  you can’t. Remember I’m paying?” 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and began walking towards his car. “You really know how to sweep a gal off her feet, Joshie.” 

 

Josh grinned at the nickname and ran towards the passenger side to open the door for Tyler, who in response blushed and stuck his tongue out. 

 

“Thanks, I really try.” 

 

\--------------

 

“ _ I’m up for it if you are.”  _

 

Josh groaned. “Ty, stop reading the hot sauce and eat your food.” 

 

Tyler pouted his lower lip but picked up his taco. “You’re no fun.” 

 

“I am too! I’m loads of fun, just not when I’m trying to have a serious moment with someone.” Josh argued. 

 

Tyler put down his food and used his napkin to wipe his face. He spoke after swallowing, “this is serious?”

 

Josh nodded. “I wanna talk about last night,” 

 

Tyler physically tensed. He didn’t want to discuss this. Surely if he’d known coming here with Josh was going to consist of the talk, he wouldn’t have agreed. 

 

“What about last night?” he asked nonchalantly. Maybe if he pretended hard enough that it didn’t happen, it could become real. 

 

“Come on, Ty. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. What happened was you reaching out for help, and for that, I am  _ so  _ proud of you. I know how hard it is. And what are friends if we can’t talk about this stuff?” Josh sipped his drink nonchalantly. 

 

Tyler wanted to believe Josh. He wanted to believe that what happened wasn’t as big of a deal he thought it was, but it was extremely difficult. He never reached out to anyone like that before, and it was hard to cope with. 

 

He stayed silent. 

 

“Okay. Alright, we don’t have to talk about it. But just know that if you ever feel that way again, don’t hesitate to talk to me. And don’t dwell on this either.” Without warning, Josh reached across the table and gently placed the other boy’s hand in his own. The contrast in Tyler’s soft and gaunt hand in comparison to Josh’s own calloused and large one was obvious yet beautiful all at once. 

 

It represented life; destroyed things coming together to form a beautiful and more significant creation.  

 

After a minute or so, Tyler finally met Josh’s eyes and he was completely endeared by the sight. 

 

Josh with a glint of concern, admiration, and affection in his eyes, his hand softly gripping Tyler’s own, and wearing the bright smile Tyler has come to love. 

 

“Okay?” 

 

Tyler nodded. 

 

When Josh looked content, he moved to take his hand back, but Tyler kept a grip on it. 

 

Josh crooked an eyebrow in shock but settled back to his prior position, not arguing. The feel of Tyler’s hand perfectly slotted against his own was a feeling he wasn’t eager to lose. 

 

So if they both finished their food in comfortable silence, hands still interlocked, and with soft smiles taking up each of their faces, it was no one’s business. 

 

And if they held hands until they got back into the car, well, no one needed to know. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

2 weeks went by.

 

2 weeks full of Taco Bell visits, Mario Kart matches that went on until midnight, and two boys just genuinely enjoying each other’s company. After missing 3 meetings for the support group, they decided having each other was support enough, deciding all-together to stop attending. 

 

Both Josh and Tyler were noticeably more happier. Their families had taken time to point it out over the course of the few weeks. 

 

And they both knew their feelings for each other were only growing, (not to the other’s knowledge of course) so they both avoided any unnecessary contact with each other that was deemed too intimate for a pair of  _ totally platonic _ friends. 

 

It was killing them in all honesty. Ever since they shared those few small moments of intimacy, they felt deprived.

 

Tyler wanted to chase the feelings with no fears or regrets lingering around to taunt him during sleepless nights. Josh wanted to allow himself to be happy. But it was easier said than done. 

 

Now, the boys were sitting on Josh’s bed with his record player oozing out a soft, slow tempo. The bedside lamp was on, casting a dim light in the space. 

 

Josh was fiddling with his drumsticks as Tyler hummed softly to the tune of the music playing. 

 

“I think it’s funny that I haven’t met your family.” he said aloud suddenly. 

 

Josh nodded. “Oh. Huh. I never really thought about that. Guess they’re just never home when you’re around.” 

 

Tyler contemplated. “Hm. Work?” 

 

“Yeah. Late shifts for both of them.” 

 

“That must suck. Sorry,” Tyler scooted closer.

 

Josh put down the drumsticks and closed the space between them, their thighs touching and arms resting against one another’s. 

 

“It’s fine, really. It’s how they keep their heads above water. They won’t let me work to help out, isn’t that strange?”

 

Tyler thought. “I kinda get it though. Maybe they just want you to be able to live your teenage life without extra responsibility.” 

 

Josh couldn’t argue that. 

 

“Yeah. I like to think that I’ll become a famous musician one day, you know, start a band and stuff. That way I’ll be rich.”

 

Tyler began rubbing soft circles with the pad of his thumb into Josh’s bicep. “What’s stopping you?” 

 

Josh reveled in Tyler’s soft touch and the genuine caring laced in between his words. He absolutely loved talking to him, which was quite ironic seeing as though he didn’t enjoy conversing with most people. 

 

“Lots of things. Small things that sit at the back of my mind and swim around until they drive me crazy.” 

 

Tyler sighed and leaned more into Josh. He pondered for a few moments before hesitantly speaking. “What if we created a band? Like you could drum and I’d sing and play the uke and stuff. Be sick.” 

 

Josh had to admit, the prospect was appealing. 

 

“Maybe one day.” 

 

Tyler sighed. “Maybe.” 

 

Some time went by before Tyler was crawling completely into Josh’s side, nuzzling his head into the crook of his shoulder and placing a soft hand atop Josh’s faint heartbeat. 

 

Josh didn’t protest whatsoever. He began to ease himself onto his back and pull the covers over them both, still fully clothed, but not caring. Josh was screaming on the inside for  _ finally _ getting the small bit of affection he was lusting after like crazy from the beautiful doe-eyed boy. 

 

They settled until they were perfectly fitted against each other’s bodies. They listened to each other breath over the soft music playing. 

 

“I think you’re the best person I’ve ever met.” Tyler whispered. 

 

Josh threaded his finger through Tyler’s soft brown locks, and placed a discreet kiss atop his head. 

 

“I think you are, too.”

 

\------ 

 

Josh stirred, groaning at his abrupt awakening until he realized it was Tyler wriggling out of his grip.

 

“Ty?” he spoke, his voice glistened over with a sleepy haze. 

 

Tyler seemed to tense, pausing in his attempt to untangle himself from Josh. “Go back to sleep. It’s okay.” 

 

Josh sat up. “Were... are you leaving?” 

 

Tyler sat up next, wearing a look that read guilt.

 

“Yeah- I, uh, need to get home.” 

 

Josh felt his chest ting with sadness. He quickly glanced to the alarm clock resting against his dresser. 

 

“It’s 3:40 A.M.” he said matter-of-factly. 

 

Tyler then removed himself completely from the bed, readjusting his shirt made crooked from laying down. “I just need to go, okay? I’m sorry.” 

 

It then hit Josh that Tyler was  _ leaving  _ because he wanted to. 

 

He sighed and absently scratched at his head. Did he try to talk Tyler out of it? Did he see if he was okay?

 

“Okay then. Sure. Let me walk you out.” was all Josh could allow himself to say. 

 

Tyler quietly slipped out of the bedroom, Josh following closely behind. They reached the front door where Tyler just stood unmoving. 

 

Josh stood a few inches behind, watching as the boy balled his fist at his sides. 

 

“You gonna go?” 

 

No response. Tyler’s shoulders seemed to slightly tremble. Josh’s worry was rapidly increasing.  

 

“Ty-” 

 

Tyler inhaled sharply. 

 

Then he abruptly turned himself toward Josh and cupped his face softly as their lips met. Josh gasped in the back of his throat but did nothing to stop the interaction. 

 

Tyler’s lips were moving slow but with urgency as he discreetly teased Josh’s mouth with his tongue. Josh let his hands move on their own accord, finding purchase on the perky bone of Tyler’s smooth hips. He reveled in Tyler’s soft sighs of pleasure and the way he leaned into Josh’s touch. 

 

Then Tyler was pulling away, this time the only thing taking up his face a huge, lopsided grin. 

 

He still held Josh’s face in his petite hands as their foreheads rested gently against one another’s; both gazing deep into each other’s eyes, sharing oxygen and shy smiles. 

 

Then, Tyler was placing a soft peck of lips on Josh’s cheek and sliding quietly out of the house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about fricking time ammirite 
> 
> as always lemme know what you think. love yall


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited chapter so forgive me if there's any mistakes.

Josh put a shirt over his chest made bare last night before he got back into bed. After Tyler left.

 

After Tyler kissed him. 

 

The entire situation felt completely surreal as he sat at the foot of his bed, his fingertips sitting atop his mouth as he replayed the scene over and over in his head. Frankly, the emotion he was experiencing was too abundant and intense to explain. Any array of letters and words would do serious injustice to the way he was feeling. 

 

As deeply as he enjoyed the kiss, (and  _ deeply _ is a vast understatement), he couldn’t keep the question of  _ what now  _ from occurring in his mind. He wasn’t entirely sure of what to do; did he text Tyler? Go and see him?  

 

Leaving these questions unanswered, Josh decided to get out of bed and head downstairs to busy himself. He hissed at the cold on his feet as he descended the stairs- the same stairs he and Tyler had went down before he stole Josh’s oxygen and ruined his life.  

 

“Morning, Josh!” calls his little brother as he sits at the kitchen table and fills his mouth with bacon. Josh gives his response as a wide yawn and wave. 

 

“Good morning. Sleep well?” he asks Jordan, making his way to the refrigerator in hopes to find something appealing enough to eat this early. 

 

Jordan finished his mouth full of food before responding. “Sorta, I swore I heard the door open real early in the morning. It scared me to death,” 

 

Josh’s stomach flipped. His brain scrambled for an excuse. “I didn’t hear anything. It was probably just a dream, or something.” 

 

“Probably.” 

 

The task of finding food was entirely abandoned now as Josh found himself bringing his hand up to his face and softly tracing the surface of his lips again; a habit he was probably never going to get out of. 

 

Josh closed the fridge and turned around to Jordan perking an eyebrow towards him. 

 

“What?” he asked under his brother’s intent gaze, terrified of what the response might be. 

 

“Nothing!” Jordan’s focus went back down towards his plate of food. Josh nodded dismissively and made his way back towards his bedroom. 

 

“The boy you kissed smells good.” 

 

Josh stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head towards Jordan who was smiling mischievously. 

 

He was at a complete loss of what to say. How did he handle this situation? 

 

“I’m not gonna tell on you, if that’s what you think.” his smile was replaced by a look of sincerity. 

 

“I, uh, thanks?” Josh stammered, fingers going straight to his hair. 

 

Jordan nodded. “Stop tugging, it’s okay.” 

 

Josh let his hands relax to his sides, thinking about how he hadn’t needed to be reminded to stop pulling his hair or chewing on the skin of his nails in a while. He stood in the middle of the walkway just staring in amazement at his little brother. 

 

He knew Jordan was not as obvlious as most 11 year olds were. A few times Josh had gone to him for simple advice or found himself confiding in him every once in while. But knowing his little brother had witnessed Josh’s first kiss was just unorthodox. 

 

Deciding he had nothing to lose, Josh reminded his legs to start working again. He sat next to his little brother at the table, avoiding eye contact. He took a deep breath and kept his hands still at his sides. 

 

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” he mumbled. 

 

Jordan chuckled. “It was gross but I don’t care.” 

 

Josh looked up hesitantly, meeting his younger brother’s eyes glossed over with youth and curiosity. “Thanks J. Love ya kid,” he messed with the small tuft of hair on top of Jordan’s head, earning himself a snarl but a sincere “I love you too” back. 

 

So his little brother knew. Josh’s irritation was slightly amplified at the discovery, but did nothing to stunt the rapidly growing mess of feelings he had for Tyler in every regard. 

 

That same taunting thought of what Josh was supposed to do now came back to torment his mind. 

 

\--------- 

 

If Tyler displayed any physical resemblance to the way he felt inside, he would look like a lovesick fool full of dread and confusion. It had been about 4 o’clock when Tyler snuck back inside his home and retreated to his bedroom to dwell in his problems-where he was still currently residing- and amusing enough, the second he was able to gather his wits, he found himself missing  _ Josh.  _ The crave for his company since he’d left was only doubled now, thanks to his incredibly stupid decision to kiss him. 

 

The kiss itself was absolutely ground-shattering. Right there in the middle of Josh’s living room, their hands getting lost on each other’s bodies and lips searching feverishly for purchase in each other’s wet mouths, it was everything Tyler could have asked for and more. His concern wasn’t with the kiss, no; his concern was with what was to happen  _ afterwards.  _

 

In regards to all things relationships and etc, Tyler had absolutely no experience or prior knowledge, leaving him a confused and helpless mess of emotion. He was a logical thinker, no doubt, but the only thing his brain would throw together for him now was  _ text him. You miss him. You need him. Why are you stalling? It’s Saturday. You’re not busy.  _

 

Unfortunately, his brain wasn’t really falling short from the truth. 

 

Tyler yawned and stretched his body, glancing at the time on his alarm clock: 9:37 A.M. He had a plentiful amount of time left in the day to maybe spend with Josh. 

 

Deciding to get over his trivial fear of nothing, (because at this point the mutual feeling of attraction for each other was established), Tyler opened up Josh’s chat, forcing himself out of his sleepy haze and began typing. 

 

_ Come over.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my deepest apology if you feel as though i failed to capture the whole post-kiss mess and whatnot. im fairly new at writing and have yet to get the hang of writing emotions. next chapter will be better, i promise :) 
> 
> love yall


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JORDAN AND JOSH BEING CUTE BROTHERS and other stuff.

Josh sat dumbfoundedly staring at the text, his nerves spiking but adrenaline rushing at the prospect of getting to see Tyler again. He wracked his brain for any plans he might have made today- he came up with nothing.

 

_ Right now?  _

  
  


_ Yeah, if you want _

  
  


_ I’ll be over in 10  _

  
  


Josh moved frantically around his room, slipping into a pair of jeans and his Vans, and topping his uncombed hair off with a beanie. He sprayed a few splotches of cologne for good measure, then proceeding to rush towards the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

 

All he could manage to think about was getting to see Tyler again as he finished getting ready and shot down his stairs. 

 

“Where’s mom?” he asked Jordan who was now resting on the couch playing his Nintendo DS. 

 

Jordan shrugged without looking up. Josh groaned. 

 

“Well… uh, tell her I’m going out and I’ll be back soon when you see her, okay?” 

 

Jordan simply nodded. 

 

“K bye,” Josh grabbed his keys and filed himself out of the door. He climbed into his car and ignited the engine, careful backing out of his driveway not to hit the mailbox. He had to force himself not to push the gas pedal down it’s entirety. He could barely contain his excitement. 

 

In an attempt to distract himself, Josh plugged his phone into the aux cord and shuffled his playlist, humming the opening notes to an AJR song, specifically one he’d played for Tyler, to which Tyler insisted they listen to it on repeat for the next week. 

 

Josh groaned when realized his thoughts had found their way back to Tyler. 

 

That boy was never going to leave his mind. 

 

\----

“Josh is coming over, if that’s okay.” Tyler declared to his mother who stood facing the oven as she placed a dish inside. 

 

Taking her mitts off and facing Tyler, she replied. “The one with the piercings?” 

 

“Sure,” he replied, less than enthusiastic at his mother’s presumable distaste. She simply smiled and turned back towards her cooking. “Okay, sweetie.” 

 

Tyler waited a moment before awkwardly shuffling out of the kitchen, plopping himself down on the couch by the window as he waited for Josh.  _ Wait, this is weird. Should I just sit here and wait, or should I busy myself until he gets here? He would probably see me sitting here waiting like a creep. God, help me.  _

 

Tyler was about to get up and retreat to his bedroom to wait, but a text from Josh that  _ pulling up  _ came through. He ignored the way his breath hitched involuntarily. He stood up and hid behind the door, thankful no one was there to see the pathetic situation he got himself into. 

 

He watched as the lights reflecting off of Josh’s car shown against the inside walls of his house and listened as the sound of a car door slamming shut filled the quiet space. 

 

A few moments later, Josh was knocking. Tyler counted to ten in his head before opening. He didn’t want to seem like a _ weirdo. Piss off.  _

 

He opened the door to a smiling Josh, who he would gladly admit was looking as great as ever. “Hi.” Josh said, still smiling and glancing intently at Tyler’s face. 

 

“Hi,” Tyler replied, not even trying to suppress the large grin of his own. 

 

Tyler then moved himself to the side, allowing Josh to come in. A fragranced trail of sharp cologne followed him inside, and Tyler  _ did not  _ take a huge whiff of it. He also did not take a moment while Josh was turned away from him to admire his backside. No such thing.

 

Tyler shut the door behind him, turning to face Josh again. “Upstairs?” 

 

Josh nodded, following Tyler up into his bedroom where a paused game of Halo was displayed on the screen. 

 

“I’d kick your ass at this game.” Josh announced.

 

Tyler’s body stilled and turned sharply towards him, his eyes went wide at the use of profanity. 

Josh couldn’t help but admire the way Tyler looked like a small child who just witnessed his parents swear for the first time. He wanted to smother his cute face in kisses. 

 

“What?” Josh asked with a smirk. 

 

Tyler nodded his head as though he was brushing off the situation. He traveled past Josh to shut the door, wringing his hands in front of him when he turned back around. “Uh. Nothing.” 

 

Josh shrugged nonchalantly and let himself fall onto Tyler’s mattress with ease, like he’d done countless times before. 

 

There was no reason either of them should’ve been acting any different, right? Nothing had changed: at least, not  _ really. So _ they’d kissed, and okay, it was far from platonic, but who were they kidding when they’d tried to tell themselves things between them were nothing more- 

 

“Josh?” 

 

Tyler watched Josh regain cognisance of reality, blushing when he realized he’d been caught zoning out. 

 

“Space cadet,” Tyler said, joining Josh on the bed and messing up his comforter. Oh well. He couldn’t find it in himself to care .Especially not when Josh was looking at him like  _ that.  _

 

He still hadn’t said anything, but everything that fell short of being spoken out loud was being portrayed through Josh’s gaze. Tyler wanted to reach across and touch his face; he wanted to trace the curves of his skin and count the small freckles strewn across his cheeks. Instead, he kept his arms still and readjusted himself so that he was on his side, mirroring Josh. Both of them were propped against their elbows with nowhere to look besides at each other. 

 

“Hi.” Josh spoke quietly. 

 

“Hi.” Tyler replied. “What are we doing?” 

 

Josh tried his best to shrug. “Being best buds.” 

 

Tyler huffed a breathy laugh and Josh tried not to look too enchanted at it. 

 

“How are you doing?” 

 

“In regards to what, exactly?” 

 

Tyler sighed. “You been taking your meds?” 

 

Josh rolled his eyes. “Yeah, mom. Have you?” 

“Be hard not to.” Tyler replied, their eye contact still not broken. 

 

“I get it.” 

 

Tyler went silent for a few minutes before adding, “Isn’t it funny how that works?” 

 

Josh tried his best to inconspicuously move closer to Tyler. “How what works?” 

 

He contemplated a minute before finding his voice again. “How mental illness doesn’t just stop or  _ go away _ because you’re  _ finally _ maybe happy with life.” 

 

Josh didn’t know what to say. So he tried to speak through grabbing Tyler’s free hand and entangling it in his own. Not a single fiber in Tyler’s being wanted to pull away at the contact. For the first time in his life, he felt completely content. 

 

So content that he hadn’t realized tears pricked the corners of his eyes. 

 

“Ty? What’s wrong?” Josh sat up, concern filling his veins as he watched a single tear travel the expanse of Tyler’s smooth skin. 

 

Then Tyler was smiling. The widest, most genuine smile he thinks he’s ever worn on his face. “I’m great, Josh.” Tyler said through thick tears, watching through his blurred vision as Josh hesitantly smiled back. He fell onto his back and continued to weep out of joy. 

 

“Why’re you so happy?” Josh whispered, looking downwards at Tyler. His big doe-eyes were glazed over with tears and his eyelashes were wet and clamped together. 

 

And _God,_ _he is beautiful._

 

Tyler nodded and tried to cover his face, but Josh grabbed his wrist and gently set his arm back down. Tyler took a shaky breath and tried to calm himself. He was too overwhelmed to meet Josh’s eyes now. He didn’t think he would be able to handle what they held in them. 

 

“I guess I’m just- I have no clue. You make me really happy to be alive, is all.” 

 

Josh was rendered utterly speechless at that. 

 

All he could think about was the boy beneath him, his brown eyes, and the way his words spoke volumes beyond anyone else’s capability. 

 

He felt Tyler squeeze his hand, jostling him back into reality, reminding him he needed to  _ say  _ something. 

 

Josh smiled. “That’s the most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me.” 

 

Tyler gave him a wide smile back in return, and was about to reply until he heard his bedroom door being opened and a voice trailing inside. 

 

“Tyler, dinner is- oh dear Lord.” 

 

Josh and Tyler immediately jumped apart, both of their hearts practically jumping out of their chests. Josh was smiling faintly still, not even aware of the gravity of this situation, and  _ dear god,  _ his mother had just walked in on that. 

 

“Uh, mom, I-” 

 

Tyler’s mother held a hand, silencing him. “Josh, I’m going to need you to please leave my home.” Kelly spoke in a tone so calm but so full of spite and venom. 

 

Josh’s face fell, looking between Mrs. Joseph and Tyler, who was sitting at the corner of his bed staring straight into his lap, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes and his face completely void of color. 

 

Then it hit him that Tyler’s mother was not meant to know about  _ this,  _ whatever it was. Josh tried his hardest to keep himself together as he stood up and slowly made his way toward the door. For a moment he was worried Kelly might hit him, or scream in his face, but neither occurred as she simply backed away and kept her eyes coldly ahead. Josh couldn’t decide if that was worse or not. 

 

He tried his luck and turned towards the room. “I’m, uh, sorry. Tyler? Text me, kay? I’ll be-” 

 

“You were asked to leave. And you aren’t welcome back.” 

 

Josh felt his stomach leap and he was convinced for a slight second that he might puke. He tried his best to get Tyler to meet his eyes one last time, but to no avail at all. He then forced himself to finally descend the stairs and get out of the house, trying with every bit of strength he had to calm his breathing and not scream.

 

He mounted the driver’s seat of his car, looking up towards Tyler’s bedroom window hoping to find him looking down. 

 

He wasn’t there. 

 

And Josh was crying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a party
> 
> a few things: 
> 
> 1 that's exactly how i picture fetus tyler reacting at hearing someone curse
> 
> 2 Im sure mrs joseph is lovely okay but for the story you gotta do what you gotta do 
> 
> 3 please dont hate me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw. homophobic slur and minor violence.

“What’s this I hear about you kissing another boy in our home? Your mother and I didn’t raise any fag-”

 

Tyler jumped at his dad’s sudden appearance. He’d been sitting frozen at his bed, mentally and physically preparing himself for his arrival. 

 

As much as he’d tried to prepare, though, it was no use when he saw the flames of anger behind his dad’s eyes as he approached him. 

 

“We weren’t e-even kissing..” 

 

Tyler squeaked as his dad aggressively cupped his chin, forcing him to meet his stern eye. 

 

“What in God’s name were you doing, then? Your mom walked in here seeing that filthy boy all over you. Are you a homosexual, Tyler? Look at me! Are you?” His father spoke through gritted teeth. 

 

Tyler was terrified, but more than anything, he was utterly pissed at the way his dad was speaking about Josh. He could easily fight back, but something in him was holding him back. 

 

He chose not to reply. He pursed his lips and tried to meet his dad’s eye with as much power as he could muster. 

 

“You answer me right now-” he gripped harder, causing Tyler to wince, “-are you a damned faggot?” 

 

Tyler ripped out of his grip and stood up, almost knocking them both over. He gained his balance and tried not to cry as he spoke. “It’s none of your business what I am.” 

 

Then, faster than Tyler could blink, his father’s hand came into rough contact with the side of his face, causing his ear to ring and vision to temporarily blur. He couldn’t fight the tears that spilled over the rims of his eyes. 

 

“Leave.” 

 

Tyler looked at his dad through teary eyes and felt his heart shatter even farther. 

 

“Dad-” Tyler reached out for him. 

 

His father took a step back. 

 

“I said,  _ leave.”  _

 

_ This can’t be happening. Is he serious? I’m going to lose my entire family.. Oh god.. I think I might puke.  _ Tyler sunk to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably, the pain of his face temporarily forgotten as he watched his father look down at him with the utmost sense of hatred. 

 

“I have nowhere to go,” Tyler spoke, his words slurred and hardly understandable between wrecked sobs. 

 

“That isn’t my problem anymore. You have 5 minutes to leave before I have you escorted out.” with that, his father left the room.

 

Tyler felt absolutely  _ numb.  _ He tried to stop crying, to get himself off the ground and leave as he was told, but his body couldn’t function properly. 

 

Outside of his bedroom door, he heard the faint sound of Zach beginning to raise his voice. He was about to force himself to get up until Zach was coming in, tears streaking his cheeks. 

 

“Oh my god Tyler, I’m so damn sorry.” Zach rushed to help his brother up, grabbing his elbows and gently coaxing him to stand. 

 

Tyler just sniffed and pulled his brother as close to his chest as physically possible, sobbing into his shoulder. “I have to go. Take care of Maddie and Jay, okay? I love you guys.” 

 

Zach pulled back and held Tyler at bay, his own tears staining Tyler’s shirt. 

 

“I’ll go with you-” 

 

“No. You’re gonna stay here and take care of them, okay? Please, Zach.. I couldn’t live with myself.” 

 

Zach hesitantly nodded, fresh tears escaping his ears. 

 

Tyler heard his father’s booming voice and jumped back into panic mode. He gave one last quick hug to his brother, and then began running down the stairs. 

 

If anyone was there to see, he couldn’t tell. His eyes were too clouded over and he was running too fast. He reached the front door and exited the house. 

 

Tyler ran frantically past streetlights and mailboxes all blurred by the tears stinging his eyes. He ran on instinct towards Josh’s house, not being aware of his sense of direction. He simply forced his legs to push forward despite his muscles protest and the need to breathe properly. 

 

He felt his tears being whisked away by the wind and tried to keep his sobs quite. The only noise he had to distract himself was the loud thudding of his heart and the slap of his feet repeatedly hitting the cement. 

 

Tyler wasn’t sure when or how, but he soon was face to face with Josh’s house. Panic settled in and he almost convinced himself to just keep running until his body became physically exhausted and he collapsed somewhere, but he thought of Josh’s welcoming arms and reassuring words, and he was beckoned forward. 

 

Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible to the rest of the neighbourhood and Josh’s family, Tyler decided to do what he was good at: climb. He planted his foot against the window seal for his boost, using the drainage pipe for balance and grunting as his body strained under the task. 

 

Panting and with aching limbs, Tyler finally collapsed onto Josh’s bedroom ledge. He softly tapped the window in hopes it was enough to get Josh up without getting caught. He had no clue what he would do if he couldn’t see Josh right now. 

 

After a few minutes and one more set of tapping, he saw the light of a lamp flicker on and watched as Josh’s shadow cautiously creeped towards the window. 

 

The curtain flew open and Tyler didn’t try to smile or greet him warmly. He was too exhausted to act like things were okay. 

 

Shirtless and looking just as distressed as Tyler, Josh immediately unlatched his bedroom window and ushered Tyler’s feeble body inside. He was seemingly just as relieved to see Tyler as Tyler was him. 

 

“Hey Ty. It’s okay, just sit down.” Josh ushered Tyler toward his bed and began placing soft kisses against the skin on his hands, with no further intention other than to show affection in the time of his distress. 

 

Tyler felt the cushion of the mattress underneath him, and he welcomed it entirely. He was still crying and trying to calm his breathing, but he was already feeling immensely better with Josh at his side. 

 

He hiccuped. “I- I don’t want to talk. Can we sleep?” 

 

Tyler he met Josh’s eyes as he waited for a response and he noticed not only the look of sheer heartbreak laced in them, but the red rings encircled around them. Josh had been crying, too. 

 

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I’ll get you something to wear-” Josh tried to stand, but Tyler grabbed his arm in protest and felt his heart spike at Josh leaving his side. 

 

Tyler nodded his head and tugged gently. Josh got the message. 

 

“Come with me.” 

 

Tyler hesitantly stood up alongside him, curling his arm between Josh’s own and lacing their fingers as they walked together toward his dresser. He felt pathetic at the fact he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together right now without Josh’s reassuring touch, but Tyler knew he understood, and something told him Josh was feeling close to exactly the same. 

 

Josh reached into one of the drawers and pulled out T-shirt with a gray and black print. 

 

“Does this work?” Josh looked down at the boy curling against him, completely endeared at the sight. Tyler was gripping tightly to his bicep with his free hand, his head pressed against his shoulder and eyes fluttering open when Josh spoke. 

 

He quickly looked toward the shirt and nodded. 

 

“Want pants?”

 

“S’okay.” He mumbled against Josh’s skin. Josh tried not to let the sadness in Tyler’s voice get to him too much as he guided them back to his bed and sat them down again. 

 

The instinct to take care of Tyler was at it’s all time high now, and he gently probed Tyler’s arms up so that he could lift the shirt over his head. Tyler was too distraught and spent to protest; not that he would otherwise. He completely succumbed to Josh and trusted him entirely to do what he needed to. 

 

Josh littered soft kisses over Tyler’s face and on his hands as he undressed him. The sensations Tyler felt due to Josh’s affection right now was inexplicable. He could almost smile. 

After stripping Tyler down to his boxers, Josh wormed himself into the bed, pulling the covers up and over them as he let the smaller boy crawl into his hold. Josh brushed his fingers everywhere on Tyler’s smooth skin as the boy clung to his body. 

 

If not for Tyler’s current state, he knew he would’ve been kissing Josh senseless like he had 2 days ago. Even in the current mess of all things, he found himself missing the feeling of Josh’s lips against his own. 

 

For now, though, Tyler held tightly onto him and let the feeling of Josh gently caressing his skin lull him to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

“ _Tyyyyylerrrrr.”_

 

Tyler felt himself slipping over the brink of unconsciousness, groaning as pain shot through the left part of his face. “No.” he mumbled against the pillows, to which he received a gentle nudge on the arm.

 

“ _Fine!”_

 

He opened his eyes, groggily looking around and watching Josh stand sheepishly over him as he held a glass of water and presumably pain medicine in his hands. It took a minute for him to acclimate to his surroundings, feeling how swollen his eyes were from crying. Then, the events from last night hit him at once, almost physically causing him to lose his breath. He would’ve started panicking all over if Josh hadn’t began talking to distract him.

 

“Hey cutie. Sorry to wake you up so early but.. Well, I wanted to make sure you didn’t have a concussion. Your face is pretty jacked up.” Josh said, setting the water down and gesturing for Tyler to take the pills.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and forced himself to sit up. His face felt a little sore, but the pain aching inside him was tremendously worse. He didn’t want to be alive at the moment.

 

“ _Aaaaaaah.”_ Tyler lazily opened his mouth, beckoning for Josh to feed the pills to him.

 

“Are you just gonna make me baby you from now on?” He huffed playfully, but stuck the pills onto Tyler’s tongue nonetheless.

 

Tyler didn’t humor him with a reply, instead choosing to smirk faintly. “There’s that smile I know and love!” Josh cheered, handing Tyler the glass of water.

 

Tyler sipped the water and swallowed, still smiling despite everything in himself that didn’t want to. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?” Josh replied nonchalantly, opening the drawer to his dresser and retrieving another shirt.

 

Tyler lifted his legs and swung them over the comforter, feeling himself become shy when he realized he was wearing Josh’s shirt and his boxers. He was mildly embarrassed, now that he was thinking somewhat rationally, of last night and how everything had happened.

 

He recovered himself with the blankets. “For being so nice and letting me break into your house and cry.”

 

Josh turned, pausing from rummaging through his drawers and making his way towards Tyler. He sat next to him, their thighs touching and arms brushing against each other.

 

“I would do it a million times again, I don’t mind.”

 

Tyler let his head fall onto Josh’s shoulder, thankful it wasn’t left side of his face that endured the contact. “My dad slapped me, hence the reason my face is _jacked up-”_ Josh chuckled at Tyler’s mimicking, “-and then forced me to leave the house.”

 

Josh drew his head back to look Tyler in the eye as he replied. “Are you serious?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“What a freaking _bastard.”_

 

Tyler couldn’t disagree.

 

“Well… what happens now?” The look of anger and confusion on Josh's face made him look super freaking cute and it made it super freaking hard for Tyler to try and be upset right now. He sighed. “Million dollar question, right?”

 

Josh moved so that he was holding Tyler in his arms,and began placing soft kisses along his petite shoulder. He was trying to express himself through the action, letting Tyler know he was  _here_ and he didn't plan on leaving. 

 

“Are you trying to seduce me right now?” he asked, trying to wriggle himself from Josh’s firm grasp. Josh huffed a laugh in response sending a wave of chills through Tyler as he felt the warm breath prick his skin.

 

Then suddenly Josh lifted his face so that it was level with his.

 

“Wanna be my boyfriend?”

 

The question was so sudden and took Tyler by complete surprise, but in the most glorious way. He let the silence draw out for a minute before he could sense Josh's discomfort.

 

Even after everything, he wanted so badly to be Josh’s boyfriend. What did he have to lose at this point?

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“My life is kind of a mess right now.” Tyler stated, eating up the way Josh was looking at him with pure admiration.

 

“Whose isn’t?”

 

Tyler’s stomach fluttered, and he realized this was it. _This_ was what everyone in the movies and books talked about- that moment when you realize you’re too far gone for someone and there’s no way you’d ever find your way back, even if you so desired. Tyler didn’t know he was even capable of attaining this; didn’t think it was made for him. But now, with Josh’s soft brown eyes peering into his own and his lips upturned into a soft smile, he knew he had found it.

 

Amidst of all the chaos in his life, his parents and religious conflict be damned, he _found_ it.

 

He was too enraptured by Josh to realize he’d started shedding silent tears, only becoming aware of it when Josh began wiping them away with concern.

 

“I’m sorry. Forget I asked, alright? Don’t cry-”

 

“Yes. I’ll be your freaking boyfriend, Josh.”

 

Tyler smiled like a fool with tears still escaping his eyes, but not out of pain or sadness, just sheer joy. A feeling he hadn’t had the fortune of experiencing in his life before.

 

Josh was returning the foolish grin, seemingly lost for words.

 

“You should kiss me now.” Tyler whispered in between sniffles.

 

Josh hummed a little as he wasted no time in meeting Tyler’s lips. He immediately cupped Josh’s face and met the contact with as much force and eagerness he could, slowly building up the rhythm between them.

 

It felt _so_ good to kiss Josh. Whatever he had going on in his life would all be worth it, so long as could kiss this ethereal boy with colored hair every once in awhile.

 

The tension and desire between them was prominent. It wasn’t even a full minute before the kiss was heating up. Tyler huffed little whines as Josh sucked at his bottom lip, using his teeth to softly graze it.

 

Something was stirring in Tyler, a sensation that was unfamiliar but welcome all at once. He knew it faintly from the select times he’d been aroused in the past, and he felt himself delve deeper into the feeling as Josh continued to kiss him passionately.

 

Until Josh stopped and pushed them both fully onto the bed with Tyler beneath him. Tyler tried _very_ hard not to focus on the fact that Josh was _on top_ of him. He watched as Josh positioned himself between his legs, coming into super close contact with his groin and their hips touching.

 

“You know….” Josh breathed, trying to replenish his lungs with a decent amount of oxygen as Tyler did the same, “you’re the only person I’ve ever kissed.”

 

“You’re full of crap!”

 

Josh moved up to place a chaste kiss to Tyler’s lips. “No I’m not. I really swear. You’re my first kiss.”

 

Their faces were really close now, and all Tyler wanted to do was kiss him more. “You’re very good at it.”

 

“I try.”

 

And their lips were on each other’s again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall, sorry this update is a little later than normal. ive been very busy and lazy lately. I went to see vesperteen (and got to meet them) on monday night and that was AMAZING. 
> 
> this chapter takes place on the same day as the last one, and there's lots of new stuff in this one!! let me know what you think.

Josh looked down at the boy he was clutching to his chest.

 

He admired the soft sweep of discrete freckles placed along his cheekbones, his plump lips that were pinker than anything he’d seen, and his curled eyelashes resting against his hooded eyelids. He watched as Tyler would move with each inhale and exhale of air, emitting soft snores in between. 

  
  


And to think that he was all entirely  _ his.  _

 

Sure, Josh knew it was probably a little weird to stare at someone whilst they were asleep. Especially that someone being someone you were in a relationship with, (that fact was still completely surreal to him), but he couldn’t find it in himself to mind. Tyler was stunning and he had a right to look. 

 

He internally made the decision to admire his boy until he woke up until his bedroom door was being swung open and in came people he faintly recognized. 

 

“Hey Josh, sorry if we- oh my god! Brendon, look! I told you they were gay for eachother.” called a girl in an overly cheerful tone. 

 

Tyler was stirring awake now, and all Josh could do was sit in shock with his mouth agape. About 3 members of the support group Josh had formerly attended were all standing in the doorway, holding baskets of unknown substances all wrapped in bows and shiny paper. 

 

“Dude, we are really sorry if we like, interrupted something. We just came to make sure you were doing well, and uh, yeah.” Brendon said, not seeming sorry in the slightest bit as he bit back a laugh. 

 

A girl with split-dyed hair,  _ Melanie, _ Josh vaguely remembered her name, stepped between Brendon and the other girl at the front. “We’ll leave these here and be on our way.” she said, gesturing towards the baskets each of them had in their hands. 

 

Then Tyler was fully waking up, his eyes twitching open and a wide yawn overtaking him-  _ he’s fucking adorable, _ then going still with panic when he noticed the group of people gathered at the door. 

 

Josh quickly gathered his wits for Tyler, who was still clinging tightly to Josh’s bare chest, and began to speak. 

 

“Hey guys, uh, Ty these are the people from the support group-”

 

“Melanie, Brendon! You guys, oh my god.” Tyler unraveled himself from Josh’s hold and the blankets,emerging from them luckily fully clothed, and began making his way towards the group of people.  

 

“We just took a nap, sorry. What are you doing here?” he said, giving each of them a tight hug. His hair was still mussed from his sleep and his voice was still laced over with tiredness and Josh couldn’t help the large smile that took up his face. 

 

“We came by to check up on Josh! It’d been awhile since we saw you at group and we were gonna stop by to see both of you, but you’re both here so that’s great.” said the cheery girl once again. 

 

Josh finally forced himself to get up, feeling extremely exposed and vulnerable. He quickly covered his chest with the first shirt he could pick up. “I feel really rude, I’m sorry. Y’all caught us off guard, but come on in.” 

 

“Why’d you put a shirt on, dude? I was enjoying the view!” Brendon said as he welcomed himself into Josh’s room, plopping down right onto the bed. The girls followed, each of them setting down their baskets on Josh’s dresser. 

 

Josh scoffed and noticed Tyler roll his eyes and smile. “To be fair, so was I.” Everyone erupted into a fit of laughter at that and the awkward tension dissolved just a bit. 

 

“So you guys are… together? Or?” the cheery girl gestured between him and Tyler who was leaning against Josh’s dresser. Josh remembered now her name was Sarah.

 

Tyler cleared his throat and spoke uncertainly. “Yeah?” 

 

Sarah clapped her hands and jumped in excitement. She settled down a minute later as soon as she became aware of what she was doing. “That’s really cute. I’m sorry.” 

 

Josh laughed and caught Tyler’s eye from across the room. He gave Tyler a look he hope read “ _ are you okay?”  _ Apparently it did, because Tyler nodded reassuringly and smiled.

 

Josh then grew anxious with the silence sitting between them, so he wracked his brain for something to say. “So how did you guys find me? And who let you in? Not to be rude or anything, like I don’t mind if you’re here. Just curious. Yeah.” Josh sighed. “I’ll shut up now.”  

 

“You’re so cute.” Tyler mumbled across the room, to which Brendon and Sarah cooed. Josh tried not to blush. 

 

Melanie just rolled her eyes and replied, “long story short, we did some deep searching on Facebook. We’re trying to justify stalking you with brownies.” she said. 

 

“Homemade too. Your boy has killer baking skills.” Brendon added. 

 

Josh tried not to acknowledge the way Tyler was smirking at him right now from across the room, busying himself with conversation. “Couldn’t you guys have just messaged me and asked to stop by?” 

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Melanie retorted. 

 

“Touche.” 

 

Josh had to admit, it was a bit endearing to see a group of people that cared so much about his well-being. As weird and shocking as the entire situation was, he thought he could grow to like this kind of thing-  _ friends _ and all that jazz. 

 

Plus, he needed someone to show off his dime piece of a boyfriend to. 

 

“Sorry Josh and I stopped showing up. Nothing against you all. You guys rock. It just wasn’t our kind of thing, you know?” Tyler said, lifting himself to sit on top of the dresser next to the baskets of brownies. 

 

_ We also sort of became super gay for each other, but it’s fine.  _

 

“It’s all good, man. We only really show up to see each other. And our leader is pretty cool.” Brendon replied, right before Sarah added a “but now we’re all bffs, so don’t even sweat it.” 

 

Josh and Tyler nodded in agreement, neither of them being opposed to the claim. 

 

“Who’s up for some Taco Bell?” Brendon asked. 

 

Josh and Tyler both perked up immediately. 

 

“Taco bell it is.” Melanie chuckled. 

 

Everyone began standing up, but Brendon spoke loudly enough to stop everyone in their tracks. 

 

“One quick question,” he looked between Tyler and Josh who encouraged him to continue. 

 

“Have you guys fucked?” 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notice rating has changed and tags were added so read at your own risk. :)
> 
> also, THANK YOU FOR 1K HITS & ALMOST 100 KUDOS! your support means the world to me and keeps me motivated to write. I love you all tremendously. Thank you for letting me share my work with you

“That was an eventful day, huh?” Josh said, dropping onto his bed with a full stomach and good spirit.

 

Tyler followed him suit, laying down next to him and nodding his head. Josh didn’t miss the way the mood shifted now that they were alone. Tyler’s eyes stayed focused onto the bedding, refusing to meet Josh’s. 

 

“I asked my mom if you could stay here, you know. You can.” he said, hoping to set Tyler at ease. In all honesty, the situation he recently found himself was taking a toll on both of them. Josh hated seeing Tyler so utterly broken. Even though they had only spent 1 night together, Josh could tell Tyler was trying so hard not to completely lose his sanity; trying with everything he has to keep himself together. 

 

“I can’t stay here for the rest of my life, Josh.” 

 

“Says who?” 

 

Tyler sat up. “What about school? My family? I have a life outside of this,  _ had  _ a life outside of this, and I can’t keep myself cooped up in here. I can’t just ignore how  _ shitty  _ my life has become.” 

 

Josh sucked in a breath, noting the use of his profanity. Tyler’s words were laced with a bitterness that settled uneasily in his stomach. He was only trying to help, what more could he do? 

 

“I don’t expect you to just stay here, but you do need a place to stay right now-” 

 

“My God, Josh! I’m not a damn basket case, okay?” He sighed, trying to carefully pick out his next words, clearly frustrated. “Listen. I have nothing to offer you. My parents took my phone, I don’t have money, who knows if I’ll ever get my car back, and I just- I don’t have anything. I don’t know why I agreed to,” he pointed a finger between them, “this.” 

 

“No. Don’t say that, Ty. I don’t  _ care _ if you have nothing. That doesn’t matter to me. Dammit, let me be your everything! Let me be  _ something _ to you!” Josh was raising his voice, the overwhelming sense of dread washing over him. He didn’t care if his family overheard. 

 

It was silent for a few minutes save for the heavy breaths being taken by each of them. With each passing second, Josh grew more anxious. He wanted Tyler to say something. He needed to know he wasn’t going to leave him, because damnit, things were starting to be okay for him. Regardless of everything, it was starting to feel okay. 

Just when Josh was about to break the miserable silence, Tyler lunged towards him and connected their lips. He wasted no time in adjusting himself so that he was straddling Josh’s hips, their lips moving steadfastly. 

 

“What’re.. you… doing…” Josh tried to speak, but Tyler was persistent in keeping their mouths as connected as possible. 

 

“Shhhh.” he replied, his fingers lacing through Josh’s hair as his mouth worked itself against his in the sweetest collision in the history of ever. 

 

“Door.” Josh whispered, to which he lifted him and Tyler off the bed, still cradling the smaller boy, and traveled to his bedroom door. He reached behind Tyler, who squealed in surprise, and twisted the lock on his door. 

 

After Tyler’s initial shock, he met Josh’s lips once again, teasing the inside of his mouth with his smooth tongue, then pulling back with Josh’s bottom lip between his teeth. 

 

Josh wasn’t having any of his games. He let his hands find the plump skin of Tyler’s butt as he carried them back towards the bed. His fingers gripped roughly, emitting a subtle moan from Tyler. It was the most glorious sound Josh had ever heard. 

 

“Always had thing for your ass. It’s nice.” Josh said, laying Tyler down on his back. He blushed wildly in response and stared up at Josh with his wide doe-eyes. 

 

Josh had to take a moment to stand back and admire the boy bestowed before him, with his thick brown locks widely sitting atop his cute little head, his nose curled perfectly upwards, his lips full and pink and swollen from where he’d been kissing Josh, and not to mention, the subtle but very prominent dent in his jeans.    
  


That alone was enough to beckon Josh forward, finding his body perfectly slotted against Tyler’s. 

 

“Is my boy a little turned on right now?” he said to Tyler, his hand finding purchase between his thighs. 

 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Tyler whined, his body tightening under Josh’s hold.

 

Josh kissed him, softly, slowly, enough to drive Tyler crazy. 

 

Josh had never been more aroused than he was right now; this,  _ everything,  _ was long overdue between them. He wanted to savor the moment while he knew Tyler wasn’t thinking about his troubles, just simply trusting Josh was his pleasure and everything else. 

 

He admired the hell out of this boy. 

 

“Ty?” Josh pulled back, watching as Tyler’s eyelashes fluttered against his flushed skin. He pouted his lip at the loss of contact. 

 

“Can I make you feel good?” 

 

Tyler’s eyes shut and he whimpered again, nodding frantically. 

 

“Gotta hear you say it babe.” 

 

“Yes, please.” 

 

Josh placed a kiss on top of Tyler’s nose, then slowly made his way down the length of Tyler’s petite body, placing chaste kisses as he did so. 

 

“Wanna take your shirt off for me?” 

 

Tyler immediately took the hem of his (Josh’s) shirt and pulled it over his head, exposing the skin on his chest. Josh mentally took a picture and placed it in the back of his mind for him to savor forever. 

 

Josh kissed his stomach, his hands coming up to cup his love handles. “Have you done this before?” 

 

Tyler looked down at Josh and smirked, looking absolutely wrecked, but in the best way possible. “Nope.” 

 

Josh nodded and placed one last peck on the skin of his stomach and let his body decline all the way until he was sitting on his knees between Tyler’s legs. “Good.” 

 

Then, Josh placed a hand over Tyler’s bulge, squeezing gently. 

 

“Oh my  _ god.”  _

 

Josh was eating up the way Tyler was already panting under his touch. 

 

“You’re so pretty, Josh.”

 

At that, Josh blushed and began moving his hand in circular motions, watching as Tyler’s stomach dipped with the pleasure. 

“I’m gonna take off your pants.” 

 

Tyler nodded, and helped Josh by lifting his hips. His pants were off and being discarded next to his shirt within 30 seconds. 

 

With Tyler almost completely exposed, he couldn’t resist the desire to lean towards Tyler’s head again and kiss him senseless. He felt goosebumps prick Tyler’s skin, and he grinned to himself. He was loving the effect they had on each other. 

 

Josh began a trail down Tyler’s neck and stopped at the boy’s collarbone, looking up quickly for consent. Tyler nodded and Josh began sucking dark marks onto his skin, reveling in the way Tyler writhed underneath the contact. Josh knew he was using more teeth than necessary, but Tyler was taking it like a champ and that spurred him on like crazy. 

 

He stopped only when he could faintly taste the threat of blood. He kissed over the mark he made and tried his best to sooth what he knew would sting for a while. 

 

Tyler didn’t seem to mind, though, instead grabbing the back of Josh’s neck and forcing him down again where their lips met with urgency. Josh ground his hips into Tyler’s as their mouths moved against each other’s. 

 

One particular thrust had Tyler’s mouth detaching from the kiss and opening to let out a breathy whine that sent a wave of heat straight to Josh’s gut. 

 

That’s when Josh decided he  _ needed  _ to hear more of those sounds. He moved away from Tyler’s lips and inched himself down again until his knees hit the bedroom floor. Tyler looked over to see where he’d gone, squealing when Josh forcefully tugged on his ankles until his toes were at the end of the bed. 

 

He stood over the smaller boy, grinning slightly. “You good, Ty?” 

 

“Yes,” he huffed breathily in response. 

 

“Okay. Wanna take off your underwear?”  

 

Tyler nodded and complied. He eased his back into the mattress and lifted his legs, completely exposing himself. Josh backed away to take in the entire sight. The dim light of the room revealed just enough for him to become dizzy over the vision. He drank in every single detail of Tyler’s naked profile, spread out and vulnerable just for  _ him.  _

 

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this once or twice, but his fantasies could never add up to the reality of the situation happening right now. 

 

“Wow.” he muttered under his breath, still hovering just a few inches away from the ethereal being laying on the bed. 

 

“What?” Tyler asked, his tone laced in slight panic. 

 

“You just look really good.” Josh replied, finally scooting forward to run his hands over the pudge of Tyler’s thighs.  Tyler whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ and Josh replied by planting soft pecks from Tyler’s hipbones down to his knees. 

 

“You’re killin’ me!” Tyler declared in a panting mess, writhing endlessly under Josh’s lips. 

 

“That’s the goal,” He finally relented, standing up again. Tyler tried to sit up, but Josh forcefully pointed a finger and gestured for him to lay back down. He whined, but complied nonetheless. His submission was arousing Josh  _ way  _ more than it should have been. 

 

“Good boy.” Josh said, not being able to contain his praise. Tyler seemed to take a special liking to the nickname, if the small throb of his dick was anything to go by. 

 

Josh took the opportunity to remove his own clothes, stripping until he was completely naked. Tyler watched with eager eyes. He could admit he felt a little nervous under Tyler’s steady gaze, but he knew he had nothing to worry about. 

 

“I never get to tell you these things, but you really are sexy as heck.” Tyler said, his voice more controlled and firm then Josh has heard since they started messing around. 

 

He blushed, thankful that the room was too dark for him to notice. 

 

“Likewise.” he said, finally mounting the bed one last time and slotting his body next to Tyler’s. 

 

They were quiet for a few seconds. Both of them tried not to let their eyes wander too far from each other’s, but it was hard. 

 

Josh extended a hand and used his thumb to trace Tyler’s lips. Tyler began teasing the skin with his tongue and then obscenely took it into his mouth and sucked gently. Josh would be lying if he said it wasn’t damn hot. Tyler’s name escaped his lips, eyes slipping shut as he continued to suck. 

 

“Mhm?” 

 

“What are we doing.” 

 

Tyler let go of his now completely wet fingers with a ‘pop’ but kept Josh’s hand placed in his. 

 

“No clue,” 

 

“Should we.. stop?” Josh asked hesitantly.

 

“Do you want to?” 

 

“Not especially..” 

 

Tyler smiled, nuzzling his cheek against Josh’s hand. 

 

“Then no.” 

 

Tyler took Josh by complete surprise then, not giving him time to response as he flipped him entirely so that he was on his back, eyes peering upwards to Tyler’s. 

 

Their cocks stood flushed, directly next to each other and the prospect of Tyler moving even the slightest and causing them to find friction against one another made Josh crazy with desire. 

 

“You’re done teasing me.” Tyler said in a stern tone, causing goosebumps to break out on Josh’s skin. Tyler wasted no time then. He coated his hand in his saliva, slowly to make sure Josh was observing closely, and encircled it around both of their throbbing erections. 

 

Josh hissed through closed teeth at the contact. Tyler was moving his hand at an incredibly slow pace, and his hips were rocking slightly to meet the contact. 

 

“Jesus, Ty.” Josh groaned. 

 

That seemed to have spurred Tyler on, having then picked up the pace in grinding their cocks together in long, wonderful strokes. Josh roughly took up space on Tyler’s plump ass, squeezing and pushing the smaller boy against him. 

 

“Oh my  _ God,”  _ Tyler moaned, panting and doing his best to maintain the grip on their cocks. 

 

“You’re doing so good,” Josh muttered between heavy breaths in reply. He absolutely loved the way the boy on top of him was starting to quiver. 

 

“Keep going, angel. You look so good. Want you to come for me,” Josh praised. 

 

Tyler’s eyes were now shut, presumably from the overabundance of pleasure and Josh noticed the movement of Tyler’s hand becoming lazy and rough, so he replaced the boy’s hand with his own and picked up the pace again. This position made it easier for Tyler to enjoy himself and it allowed Josh to have control of his boy’s pleasure. 

 

Tyler’s hands found purchase against Josh’s chest as he held himself up and a chorus of high-pitched moans were filling the space between them. 

 

“This feels so  _ fucking good _ ,” Tyler whined. 

 

“Does it? Do you want to come for me?” Josh was surprised at Tyler’s use of profanity, but it only added to his building pleasure. 

 

_ “Please, oh god, please.”  _

 

And then, Josh’s main focus was getting Tyler off better than he ever had gotten off before. He took his hand off of his own cock and put it strictly onto Tyler’s, pumping his hardest. His own dick throbbed when he felt a warm substance stream down his hand. 

 

Tyler was too lost in his own bliss to form coherent sentences. His words were being slurred together and cut off by groans and whines of pleasure. 

 

His entire body was moving erratically against Josh’s and he was absolutely  _ loving  _ it. 

 

And then, Tyler’s moans teetered into soft shouts as he came onto Josh’s toned abs and into his hand. Josh was persistent in making sure every last drop was out of Tyler’s system, pumping still even after the peak of his orgasm. 

 

“Fucking, shit!” Tyler screamed, mouth agape and hair disheveled and body shaking. Josh finally resorted to slow, gentle strokes until Tyler’s pleasure became discomfort. 

 

Tyler’s body was slack and almost putty-like, but he still managed to scoot down between Josh’s legs. A panting mess and all. 

 

“It’s okay, Ty. You don’t need to-” 

 

Then Tyler was using his tongue to clean his come off of Josh’s stomach, licking up in slow stripes. 

 

And damn if it wasn’t the hottest thing Josh has ever seen in his life. 

 

“You are so incredible. Just,  _ fuck.”  _ Josh did not stop watching until Tyler’s come was replaced by trails of hot saliva glistening in the moonlight. 

 

Tyler gave a lopsided grin and stuck his tongue out. 

 

Josh used his arm to pull him back up and bring him in for a heated kiss. The faint taste of come was laced within the collision of their lips and tongue, and it was making Josh crazy in the best way possible. 

 

Tyler took Josh’s aching member into his hand and began stroking roughly. His intention was clear in the movements: he was going to make Josh come just as hard as he had. They kissed the entire duration of it, only breaking apart when Tyler wanted to say how beautiful Josh was or when Josh couldn’t contain the need to vocalize his pleasure. 

 

Soon after, Josh was coming all over his and Tyler’s chest, panting heavily and tugging roughly on Tyler’s hair. 

 

He kept a firm hold on Josh’s dick until he was completely spent, his body completely stilling and breathing evening out. 

 

Tyler used the discarded shirt to clean the come from between them, smiling to himself. 

 

After he was finished, he snuggled into Josh’s side. The both of them very naked still, but neither of them caring. Josh snaked an arm around Tyler’s waist and they lay there unmoving for a good while. 

 

“I just want you to know that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Tyler said, kissing Josh’s bicep sweetly. 

 

Josh moved so that he was looking into Tyler’s eyes, completely endeared at the sight.

 

“You are too.” he kissed Tyler’s lips. “Let’s take showers.” 

 

“Yes, please.” Tyler replied, heaving himself up. 

 

Josh gathered their clothes and threw them into the laundry hamper, then moving to retrieve new ones for him and Tyler to wear. 

 

“Oh hey,” Tyler said, drawing Josh’s attention. 

 

“I guess we can tell Brendon we fucked now, right?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for an anxiety attack. 
> 
> this chapter is shorter butttttt for good reason and im actually really excited about this one. 
> 
> enjoy <3

Tyler woke up the following morning with a sense of tranquility throughout his entire body; a feeling he hadn’t been able to experience as of late, what with the recent events his life has consisted of. He stretched and groaned at the feeling of his groin being mildly sore, just reminding him all over again of the events that took place in this bed last night. He blushed to himself.

 

Tyler noticed he was alone in the room, which caused him to panic for a second before he realized it was Monday and that meant Josh actually had to a life to tend to now. 

 

He hated Mondays. 

 

Upon standing up from the bed Tyler noticed a note sitting neatly against the dresser next to the untouched baskets of brownies they hadn’t gotten around to eating yet (sorry, they’ve been a little preoccupied). 

 

_ Come down as soon as you wake up. You can wear anything of mine. Wait actually not the nasa shirt but anything else.  _

 

_ -Josh  _

 

Next to his name was a small heart scribbled in black ink. Tyler grinned to himself. Josh was so cute. 

 

He grabbed a pair of jeans and a slightly oversized T-Shirt from the drawer, mentally reminding himself to do laundry for Josh today, and made his way downstairs. 

 

Downstairs he was greeted by a busy Dun family, all moving about in different directions with different tasks. He felt really out place and began growing anxious until he caught Josh’s eye and he began making his way over towards Tyler. 

 

“Good morning J-” Tyler sucked in a surprised breath when he was abruptly cut off by Josh kissing him. 

 

What the fuck. 

 

He quickly took a step back and shot Josh a look of confusion and anger. Josh just smiled and said nothing, walking away after placing one last peck to Tyler’s cheek. 

 

Tyler stood at the bottom of the stairs, winded and utterly confused. 

 

“Hey,” he heard a voice call to him, being trailed back Josh’s little brother. 

 

“Hi..” Tyler replied nervously. 

 

“Are you and my brother in love?” 

 

Tyler almost fainted.

 

“I-I, uh, no. We’re just really good friends.” 

 

Jordan looked skeptical and Tyler about lost his cool. He did  _ not  _ sign up for an interrogation from his boyfriend’s little brother. 

 

“I know you guys kiss.” 

 

“Do you, now?” 

 

“Yep.”

 

Tyler scratched at his head and tried to decide how to go from here. Damn you, Josh. 

 

“I’m gonna go stand by Josh.” 

 

With that, Tyler made his way into the kitchen. Bad decision, because all gathered in the area was none other than Josh and his parents whom Tyler had just recently became acquainted with. 

 

“Uh, good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Dun.” Tyler said, trying to make his voice sound unwavering. 

 

Josh’s parents both looked up and smiled, Josh not meeting Tyler’s eye before he walked to stand next to him. “Hey, mom, dad. I’m gay and Tyler is my boyfriend.” 

 

Tyler felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach and he didn’t bother trying to hide the expression of utter fear consuming his facial features as he stood wide-eyed and terrified at Josh’s parents, too nervous to study their reaction at the moment. Josh exhaled and seemed as cool as a cucumber, as if he hadn’t just jeopardized their entire damned relationship. 

 

Tyler was overwhelmed and couldn’t help the sudden rush of anxiety that threatened to take over his cognisance. He closed his eyes and only heard the rush of his blood and his shallow intakes of breath. He tried to fill his lungs with a proper amount of oxygen, but to no avail; his throat was constricting and he simply couldn’t breathe.

 

He didn’t want to be told how much of a disgrace he was again. He didn’t want to be slapped and forced to leave. Josh was all he had and the impact of losing him too would be completely unbearable. Tyler was going to die. 

 

He was going to die. 

 

But he was very much still alive as he felt a pair of strong but gentle arms coax him towards somewhere, presumably out of the house. Tyler would try to pay attention if he wasn’t too busy going slightly insane. 

 

“Let him come down on his own. Don’t touch him, haven’t you dealt with an anxiety attack before?” 

 

“He likes when I touch him, mom.” 

 

“Oh, gosh. Save that stuff for later, jeez.” 

 

Tyler tried to center his focus again. He was sitting. He wasn’t being hit. He could breathe a little better now. 

 

_ In and out.  _

 

“Ty? You okay?” 

 

That was Josh. 

 

Tyler looked up and saw 3 Dun’s all looking down at him with concern. He inhaled deeply and tried to reply, but his voice came out weak and rushed. 

 

“I’m sorry. This is really embarrassing,”

 

Josh’s mom then came down to his level, grabbing his hand and placing it between her own. “Tyler, as long as you’re good to my son and the rest of us, we will love you. You may not be able to find support with your own family, but you’ll always find it here.” 

 

Tyler hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt hot tears stroll down his cheeks and land on his hand enlaced in hers. He could only thank her with a sincere nod of his head and a reassuring noise from his throat. 

 

Mrs. Dun stood him up and engulfed him into a big hug. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder, presumably belonging to Mr. Dun, and Tyler absolutely broke down. 

 

This was what being loved and accepted felt like.

 

He hugged back with as much force as he could muster, sobbing against Laura’s shoulder uncontrollably. He felt so safe in her hold and it reminded him of Josh. 

 

Josh, who stood a few inches behind the scene unfolding in front of him with a warm feeling in his chest and tears clouding his eyes. 

 

Tyler held onto his mom until he grew uncomfortable and slowly backed away, a small smile plastered on his face. 

 

“I, just- thank you guys. I swear I’m not always this mentally unstable.” he chuckled dryly. 

 

“We’ve been dealing with Josh his whole life,” Bill said, “don’t even worry about it.” 

 

Josh rolled his eyes at his father and reluctantly met Tyler’s red-rimmed and tired looking ones. Despite this, though, they were filled with complete sincerity and admiration. 

 

He made his way towards Tyler and captured him in a gentle kiss, his arms wrapping around his small frame. 

 

“Tyler.” 

 

The smaller boy looked up from where his face had been pressed against Josh’s chest, meeting his eye. 

 

Josh took a deep breath. 

 

“I love you.” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a filler but its cute

Tyler stood wide eyed and in shock, still clinging onto Josh. A million emotions were swirling around inside of him, but one distinctly made itself known. He couldn’t pinpoint it. He couldn’t give it a name.

 

He wanted to say he loved Josh back, but he wasn’t sure if he did. He loved him in the literal sense as a person, sure, but was he  _ in  _ love with him? That concept seemed unfamiliar, and even if he was in love, he wasn’t sure if he could tell. 

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back, Ty. Say it when you’re ready. I just couldn’t keep it from you anymore.” Josh said, not looking upset or concerned, simply content. 

 

“Are you… are you in love with me? Is that what you mean?” Tyler tried to speak quietly. Josh’s parents had just left the room and he didn’t want to risk anyone hearing this intimate conversation. 

 

Josh released his grip on Tyler and moved his hands to cup the smaller boy’s face. 

 

“I don’t know, yet. I just know that I love everything about you.” he declared, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of Tyler’s nose. “And I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. And, you give great handjobs-” 

 

“ _ Joshua!”  _

 

“Okay, I’m sorry!” 

 

Josh places another soft peck to the side of Tyler’s pink tinted cheek. 

 

“It’s true though.” 

 

Tyler simply rolls his eyes and Josh uses his fingertips to wipe away the last bit of tears from the corners of his face. 

 

“I’m really surprised my parents haven’t called the cops or something to get me to come back. I guess I didn’t really believe them… at first? But it’s been almost 3 days and they still don’t give a shit where I end up… and now I’ve gone and made your parents think I’m crazy.” Tyler chuckles dryly. 

 

“My parents don’t hate you, like at all. They think you’re adorable.” Josh, his hands still cupped around Tyler’s face, feels his heart ache. He wants to make Tyler forget all about his shitty parents; wants to have all the right words to say to comfort Tyler right on the tip of his tongue. But in the harsh reality, he’s never been good with words and he knows he’d be a mess if he were in Tyler’s shoes. Tyler is handling it all surprisingly well. 

 

And then Josh remembered something. It struck him like a bolt of lightning and caused him to subconsciously tighten his grip.

 

“Your meds, Tyler. Did you happen to grab them on your way out? How did I not realize you weren’t taking them?” 

 

Tyler looked surprisingly calm as he simply let Josh stand with his hands practically crushing his face. “I mean it when I said I wasn’t able to get anything.” 

 

Josh sighed. 

 

“And we can’t get you any because we aren’t your legal guardians. Do you think there’s any way your parents would let you back into the house to get some stuff?” 

 

Tyler thought and came to the conclusion that, no, the chances of that happening are probably slim to none. He shook his head. “But, maybe I can get a hold of Zack or someone to grab stuff for me and bring it here-” 

 

“That’s a great idea! Do you have their numbers?” 

 

“They don’t have phones.. but Zack is almost always outside playing with the neighbours. I could probably catch his attention and pull him to the side.” 

 

Josh grinned in relief and audibly exhaled. 

 

“Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, breakfast?” 

 

\--------------------

 

Part of Tyler was overwhelmed with everything, but the other half was oddly content with the way his life was going thus far. 

 

Aside from being shunned by his parents, he was able to spend his days and nights with the one person who he’s ever had genuine feelings for, who actually cares about his well-being and makes sure he is mentally stable every day. 

 

And he does the same for Josh, he knows he does, because Josh has become notably more social and confident regarding his personality since he met Tyler, and he can’t help but blame himself for that. 

 

Tyler was able to convince Zack to get his stuff for him, alongside having a conversation about how things were- 

 

_ “Mom sulks and hardly talks to dad, and dad just yells all the time and drives everyone away. They still talk about you like you’re still there, you know, as if they didn’t fucking abandon you-”  _

 

_ “Zack, breathe.”  _

 

_ “-and leave you with nothing. Sorry. But me and Mads miss you so much dude. It’s so ugly there now.”  _

 

_ Tyler felt tears prick his eyes, and he pulled his brother in for a hug.  _

 

_ - _

 

He couldn’t say he was happy with his life right now, but his siblings were okay and he was with Josh’s family who seemed to love him just as much as they did Josh, so maybe he was starting to accept things easier. 

 

It’d been a week full of kisses and time well-spent with Josh, it being summer break and all, and he was able to always get his undivided attention that he desperately craved. 

 

Like right now, Josh was setting up a game of mario kart, bent over the dresser to plug in some chords. Tyler whined from behind him playfully. 

 

“Don’t complain you big baby. You have a  _ great  _ view right now.” Josh said, still hunched over as he messed with some chords. 

 

“Hmmm. You aren’t wrong.  _ Always had a thing for your ass.”  _ he says playfully. 

 

“Tyler Robert Joseph, I am trying to set up a game of mario kart for us, stop objectifying me!” 

 

Tyler chuckled and kicked his feet up from where he was laying on the bed. “Objectify this dick,” 

 

Josh stood up and shot him a mix of a confused look and a glare, to which Tyler couldn’t contain his laughter. “You have issues. You’re worse then Brendon, and that’s saying a lot.” 

 

Tyler stopped laughing and feigned offence, gasping dramatically. He then proceeded to pout, burying his entire body into the comforter and whining. 

 

He heard Josh continue to mess with the chords until the theme song for mario kart was being played over the TV speakers. 

 

“Aha! I got it babe, c’mon.” 

 

Tyler decided he wasn’t done throwing a fit. He stayed as still as possible and smiled to himself. 

 

“Tyler?” 

 

Silence. 

 

“I guess I’ll just play this by myself then.” 

 

Tyler was close to giving up, seemingly getting nowhere, but then he felt Josh jump onto him, groaning as his knee met Tyler’s stomach. 

 

“Oh my god, I didn’t even get kneed but I felt that pain. Are you okay?” he was laughing breathlessly as Tyler came out from under the covers with a red face and disheveled hair, gripping his stomach and moaning. 

 

“Josh! That hurt, you dick!” Tyler shouted, thrashing in an attempt to get Josh off of him. 

 

But Josh was definitely bigger than Tyler and overpowered him by a ton, so he pinned his knees on either side of him and stuck his tongue out at the cute pouting boy underneath him. “You shouldn’t throw pretend fits. That’s what you get.” 

 

Tyler scoffed. “It wasn’t pretend.” 

 

“Really? It wasn’t?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Whatever you say, baby boy.” 

 

Tyler blushed and tried to hide it with his hands, but Josh caught them just in time and placed them back at his sides. 

 

“You’re pretty. Have I mentioned that?” 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Kiss my stomach better, bully.” 

 

Josh cocked an eyebrow at him. “Really?” 

 

Tyler nodded, his lips pouted outward. 

 

Josh just chuckled and moved himself so that he was face to face with Tyler’s tummy, rubbing it gently at first and then lifting his shirt to place soft kisses along the soft skin. He didn’t miss the way Tyler was ever so slightly writhing underneath the contact. 

 

But because he  _ loves  _ driving his boy crazy, he puts his shirt back over the kissed flesh and sits up to get out of the bed. 

 

“All better, now let’s play some mario kart.” 

 

And if Tyler wasn’t really pouting before, he definitely was now. But he complied nonetheless, getting down on the floor and grabbing a remote. 

 

“Haven’t you learned that you suck at this game? I beat you every time.” Tyler snickered, loving the cute look on Josh’s face when he gets offended. 

 

“And you call  _ me  _ the bully!” 

 

Tyler laughs, leaning over to place a soft kiss to the side of Josh’s face, and their pointless bickering becomes, well, pointless, as they start their game and gradually move closer to each other as time drags on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small rant time!!! 
> 
> sorry this update took longer than normal, highschool is kickin my ass recently and I didn't know where this fic was going for a while but I'm starting to get a pretty good idea. 
> 
> buTTT, im 100% open to suggestions about what you guys want to happen!! i love hearing your thoughts and feedback so feel free to toss around some suggestions for what you want to see happen. id love to incorporate your guy's thoughts. 
> 
> also, i dont feel like i express this enough because im conviced my writing is utter shit and am always confused as to why anyone reads it but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart if you read this and enjoy it. *says some cliche author shit about how your Support (heh no p(h)un INTENDED) keeps me going.* 
> 
> okay ily bye


	16. Chapter 16

Hey all!

I want to first apologize, both for probably getting you excited thinking this is a new chapter and for "abandoning" this fic. 

This was the very first story I put out. I went from writing and keeping it to myself to sharing it with anyone to see on the internet. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so and for responding so positively. However, as I progressed and continued, I grew uninspired. I was writing many other things over the course of however many months this was ongoing for, and I like to think my writing style has changed. To continue this fic I wrote in a period of time where it was different wouldn't make much sense. I don't think it would have the same 'vibe', for lack of better word, if I forced myself to continue this. 

I have other works, both ongoing and finished, that I encourage you to check out if you so desire! And thanks again for reading!


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